How Much Time Should Kids Have for a Play Date?

Play dates allow unstructured time for children to play together outside of the school day. They're a staple of childhood and help kids build self-esteem and sharpen their socialization skills. Deciding how long to allow kids to interact is up to the parents, but there are general rules of thumb to keep in mind.

  1. First Play Date

    • Typically an hour to an hour and a half is enough time for new friends to socialize. This allows time to play while the parents get to know one another. Set an end time at the onset of the play date just in case the children find they don't have as much in common as they hoped. This is also an adequate time frame for collecting information about the other adults' parenting style and for noticing the type of relationship they have with their child.

    Play Dates Between Established Friends

    • Play dates between established friends of elementary-school age need not follow as strict guidelines, and may stretch on for 3 to 4 hours. These children have played congenially together before without incident. Possibly, you and the other parents are on friendly terms as well. Again, it's up to the parents when to call halt, but there's not usually a need to set a firm time frame at the onset, when it's just between friends.

    Play Dates at Home

    • When the other child comes to your home, set firm expectations of how long you are willing to act as host. Will the date include a meal time? Is sleeping over an option? It's best to present these options out front to avoid having a child linger past dinner or whine to spend the night. Make sure the other parent knows when to return to pick up your guest so that your evening routine doesn't suffer.

    Away Play Dates

    • Show the other parent the same respect you want her to show you. Know what time your child needs to be picked up, and make an effort to be on time. Coach your child not to whine or try to prolong play dates past their planned conclusion. Communicate clearly with the other parent about your own schedule and what time you need your child to be home. Be considerate and don't choose meal times as play dates, unless you're willing to provide the same.

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