How to Adjust to New Stepchildren

When you choose to become part of a ready-made family, you may feel like the outsider initially, but it doesn̵7;t have to stay that way. Adjusting and getting to know your new stepchildren are just part of the whole package. Even if you experience a few hiccups and hurdles along the way, time, respect and patience will show you a blended family can mean more people to share a happy, loving home with.

Instructions

    • 1

      Start slowly and keep your expectations realistic. You and your new stepchildren need time to get used to each other. It will take some time to develop a warm and involved relationship with your new family members. Be genuine and sincere -- kids can tell if you̵7;re being fake.

    • 2

      Ensure the stepchildren get plenty of time with their birth parent. This is especially important if they only visit on the weekends. You don̵7;t want to be resented for taking up all of this valuable time.

    • 3

      Find a common interest with each of your stepchildren and invite them to participate in this activity with you. For instance, if you and your stepson both like painting, ask him to join you.

    • 4

      Establish some house rules and stick to them. For example, you can include respecting personal space and using kind words on the house rules list. Make sure you, your spouse, your children and the stepchildren all follow them. Enforce consequences for breaking the rules, like taking away television time. Offer praise and recognition for following them.

    • 5

      Be a good role model. You may encounter some hostility and be on the receiving end of some unkind words. Instead of reacting with more negative words or fighting, show your stepchildren how to be patient and understanding and how to talk through the problem constructively.

    • 6

      Create a collaborative parenting effort with all parents involved. Communicate and keep each other up to date on important information, accomplishments and issues. Don̵7;t bad-mouth the other biological parent. The stepchildren will not respond well to this kind of behavior.

    • 7

      Take time for yourself. This new role can be difficult at times. Recharging your batteries on a regular basis helps you keep balanced and calm when situations arise.

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