How to Prepare for Pre-Adoption Meeting with Possible Birth Mother

Most domestic infant adoption placements occur between 6 and 18 months of a waiting family's certification, although some couples wait years, according to the Independent Adoption Center. When your caseworker informs you that a birth mother is considering placing her baby with your family, you want to do everything you can to make a positive impression and to learn about your potential baby's birth family. Preparing for the meeting can settle your nerves and help you decide what information to ask and to offer.

Things You'll Need

  • Family photos

Instructions

    • 1

      Appear approachable. You might be inclined to dress up as a way to impress a possible birth mother, but this may actually cause her to feel intimidated or uncomfortable. Wear clean but casual clothing to help her feel comfortable with you. A warm, genuine smile is your best accessory.

    • 2

      Bring lots of pictures. Showing a potential birth mother photos of you and your partner at home and with friends, family and even pets will help her get a better feeling of your lifestyle and personality. Consider bringing pictures of you both as children as a snapshot of your own upbringing.

    • 3

      Consider questions. Don't let the excitement of a possible placement overshadow your desire for information about the birth family. Consider details you would like to learn, such as medical history and the level of openness the birth mother desires.

    • 4

      Encourage her to ask questions. She might feel uncomfortable asking you personal questions, but the answers are necessary to help her make her decision. Consider a few possible questions before the meeting, such as how long you've tried to have children of your own and how many extended family members will be regulars in the baby's life, to use to prompt her if she draws a blank.

    • 5

      Prepare to listen and respond. The birth mother is working to make a life-altering decision. Ask how she is feeling physically as well as emotionally and show sincere empathy when she replies.

    • 6

      Be yourself. Relax as much as you possibly can and let your true personality shine. Your quirky sense of humor, nerdy interests or laid-back nature may be just what the birth mother is looking for.

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