Do Babies Get Quality Sleep Being Held?

The Problem

• Waking during the night is a normal part of the sleep cycle for babies and adults alike. However, if you hold your baby until he falls asleep and then put him in the crib, when he wakes, he will sense that something isn̵7;t right. When he wakes, he will cry for you and won̵7;t go back to sleep until you hold him. Once he is sleeping and you put him back down, it is a good bet he will cry for you again the next time he wakes. What is happening -- or rather what isn̵7;t happening -- is that your baby isn̵7;t self-soothing and falling asleep on his own. Consequently, neither of you is getting quality sleep through the night.

Sleep Associations

• When babies learn to associate being held with going to sleep, they expect to find that same condition when they wake through the night. Sleep training your baby helps her learn how to self-soothe so that she can make the transition back to sleep without your help. However, how quickly babies learn to self-soothe depends on several factors. Dr. Alice Callahan, a nutritional biologist, mom and author of the blog Science of Mom, points out that although research identifies a relationship between infant self-soothing and parental responsiveness, studies fail to prove that one causes the other. Yet some studies found that when parents help their babies develop sleep habits, their babies wake less often and sleep for longer periods.

Sleep Training

• Many babies won̵7;t fall asleep unless they are held, notes Dr. Laura Markham, parenting coach and founding editor of AhaParenting.com. Generally, infants have to be trained to fall asleep on their own. While not every strategy works for every baby, parents play a role in helping a child learn how to go to sleep by himself. Putting your baby in his crib or bassinet for sleeping will teach him that this is where he is supposed to sleep. You should put him down when he is drowsy but still awake. If he is already asleep, he won't know what is happening. In addition, responding to your baby's first cries doesn̵7;t give him the opportunity to self-soothe and settle himself.

Encouraging Healthy Sleep Habits

• Retraining your baby̵7;s sleep associations doesn̵7;t come quickly as it can take weeks or even months, points out Dr. Markham. Since she needs to learn to go to sleep without you holding her, your baby should be almost asleep but still awake when you lay her in the crib. If she fusses, pick her up and rock her in your arms a little. Markham suggests that when you put her down, try holding her in the crib while she falls asleep. When you sense she is ready, change the routine by holding her hand or touching her forehead gently while she falls asleep. It may take some time, but eventually your baby will learn to fall asleep by herself.