Theories on Child Rearing

Attachment Parenting vs. Ferberization

• What should exhausted parents do when their baby won't sleep unless she is snuggled deeply into their arms while being sung to and rocked? Dr. Richard Ferber would advise putting her down in her own bed and letting her sort it out for herself. This technique is called "Ferberization" and its advocates believe that if a child is well fed, clean and otherwise healthy or not in pain, then she ought to be able to sooth herself to sleep on her own. Holding her all night long might result in an attached and spoiled child. On the other side are the advocates of "attachment parenting." They believe that it is impossible to spoil a baby and that the most important thing you can do for your child is to help her feel secure. The attachment parenting technique suggests the following: sleep next to baby; wear baby close to the body; cuddle, snuggle and kiss the baby; always respond to crying and follow baby's lead when it comes to a sleeping schedule.

R.I.E. Parenting

• R.I.E. stands for Resources for Infant Educarers. Their philosophy is libertarian in the sense that it promotes self-reliance and, subsequently, self-confidence. The theory suggests that in his natural state a child is learning and will do so if left alone. Parents should stay out of the way and allow the child to develop at his own pace. They should also not force a child into an unnatural position, which is one that he wouldn't naturally get into on his own. For example, your baby might learn to crawl by watching an older child crawl and following her lead, but you shouldn't try to help him by placing a towel under his chest. Modeling is great, but doing things for the child is a no-no.

Slow Parenting vs. Concerted Cultivation

• Slow Parenting has a casual attitude, but it's not quite as hands-off as R.I.E. The theory suggests that it's okay to guide children who are going off track, but it's usually best to let them find their own way. At the opposite extreme is Concerted Cultivation, which is more or less, the attempt to create a renaissance child. These advocates believe that children should be exposed to as many organized activities as possible, each one specialized and able to teach a valuable skill.

Over-parenting

• When parents do everything for a child, they are referred to as "helicopter parents." Helicopter parents tend to parent too much. They never leave their child alone to figure things out for himself; rather, they want to eliminate all obstacles and solve all his problems, often before he even realizes they exist. Over-parenting is at the opposite extreme to R.I.E. theories of child rearing. The best strategy for new parents is to become familiar with the theories and then decide what is best for their lifestyle, happiness and the happiness of the family. Often the solution is to parent with a healthy mixture of techniques.