How to Help Children Make Connections
Everyone has experienced some kind of social rebuff at some point in life and everyone knows friendships can come and go. However, parents don't like to hear their child complain that other kids won't be her friend or let her play with them. You can provide support and give advice to your child to help her make connections with others, which is a skill she will need her entire life.
Instructions
Ask your child about what she did at playtime. Assess her social skills by listening to what she describes. Provide support to your child, but do not get upset or angry if she complains that she is lonely or that other kids did not play with her. Be an ̶0;emotion coach," suggests psychologist Dr. Gwen Dewar. This means teaching your child to control her emotions even when she is upset about how other kids treat her. Your child will develop better emotional self-control when you speak to her with sympathy and suggest ways to solve the problem. Do not trivialize her emotions by saying "Don't be silly" or "Get over it." Instead, discuss her feelings sincerely and talk about things she can do to make the problem better. Provide opportunities for your child to play and socialize. Take her for supervised trips to the park, host friends for play dates and lunch or sign up your child for group sports and creative activities such as art, dance or drama. Additionally, give your child unstructured playtime with others by inviting neighborhood kids to play in your backyard or house. Organize one-on-one activities that are simple enough for children to handle on their own. These could include playing a game in the living room or blowing soap bubbles in the backyard. Stay out of sight, but within earshot to assess how your child handles this kind of social situation. Talk to your child about what it means to get along well with others. Emphasize that sharing, being polite and playing fairly are important even if someone is not being nice to her. Teach her about necessary social cues so she can join in an ongoing game or play with a group of kids. She can ask questions such as: "What are you building? It looks cool." Also teach your child the value of walking away and doing something else if someone is being rude or not willing to play with her. Be a good example and show her how to interact with all kinds of people in a polite and friendly manner. Take her along when you run your errands at the grocery store or dry cleaners, for example. Model the behavior you want your child to emulate when you talk to others in such settings.