The Emotional Development of a Toddler

Imitation

• A toddler doesn't hide her emotions and instead will broadcast them to anyone who will listen. When your toddler feels loving, she will wrap her arms around you and say "I love you" in a singsongy voice. When she is contented and happy, she will giggle and chuckle. If she feels lonely or sad, her face contorts with these emotions and she will cry until she is comforted. She is also fully able to imitate affection that she receives and will quickly give it back. When you show her affection such as kisses and hugs, she will imitate the behavior. Keep in mind that she doesn't have the vocabulary to express complex feelings such as guilt, embarrassment, shame, pride and resentment, but she is becoming aware of them.

Right and Wrong Behavior

• Your toddler is quickly learning that he receives positive attention like praise, laughter and hugs when he behaves in a certain way that other people think is "right." He can also differentiate "wrong" behaviors that elicit negative attention such as a frown from you. Even more amazing is that he is intuitive enough to learn that to different people right and wrong mean very different things. For example, he notices that you frown at "wrong" behavior such as pulling a cat's tail but it brings giggles and laughter from his older sibling.

Self-Awareness

• As an infant, your toddler was unable to differentiate between herself and you or objects that she saw in her environment. But at about 15 months, she figured out that she is a separate being through touching, tasting, hearing and smelling. Your toddler now understands that her parent is an extension of herself. For example, if she sees a cookie that she is too short to reach, she'll gesture for it and push you toward the object. As she is confronted with new situations such as walking up stairs, she will grasp your arm or hand so that you can assist her.

Self-Centered

• Your toddler believes that your world revolves around him. As you give him a lot of praise and attention for things that he accomplishes, he will want to try even more. He has a deep desire to succeed at all the tasks that he tries even if most of the time he won't. It's common for toddlers to try to lift heavy objects that are impossible for them to carry for their size, but they will be determined anyway. He will want to try everything that you are doing. Give your toddler tasks that imitate what you are doing. For example, let him cook in a play kitchen as you cook a meal. As he successfully accomplishes these tasks, he will build his self-esteem.

The Terrible Twos

• Be prepared to witness some expressive temper tantrums with powerful emotions at this stage. When your toddler becomes frustrated and angry, she may kick, scream and bite because she is overwhelmed with her emotions and can't manage them. Be prepared for sudden mood swings as soon as your child hears the word "No." At this age, emotions are powerful and quick to change. Most toddlers have a temper tantrum at least once or more per week. Many situations can trigger an emotional outburst from your growing toddler. Temper tantrums often occur in certain situations such as during bedtime, getting dressed, waking up, interacting with other toddlers, in public places and when visitors come to your home. A temper tantrum is also likely when you ask your toddler to transition to different activities such as waking up to getting dressed.