How to Help an Adopted Toddler With Attachment

Attachment between a child and parent is critical. Attachment Parenting International says that attachment can encourage a sense of security, which can ensure good mental health development and the ability to develop strong, intimate relationships later in life. The first year or two of a child's life is critical for establishing attachment, so adopted toddlers may have already experienced some setbacks as a result of neglect or abuse from their birth families or institutions that were responsible for them. Adopted parents must be conscientious in their efforts to promote attachment to encourage happy and healthy family relationships.

Instructions

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      Respond to your toddler's cues promptly. When your toddler cries, yells or acts out, he is signalling to you that he needs something, even if it's an emotional need. By responding quickly to these cues, you show your toddler that he can count on you to be there and to meet his needs.

    • 2

      Show empathy. A toddler's whines and cries can be hard to deal with, but if you understand that your toddler is usually whining or crying because he needs your attention or your assurance, it can be easier to show empathy. Resist showing annoyance and instead show understanding. Stay close and offer hugs and kind words.

    • 3

      Hold and touch your toddler often. Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and author of scores of parenting books, says that regular touch is critical to promoting a strong bond between parent and child. Hug your toddler often. Hold hands together. Invite your toddler into your lap to read stories together. Pick your toddler up and carry him to the bath, the car or the bed. If your toddler will let you, wear him in a soft-structured carrier. Let him sleep in your bed. All this physical closeness will encourage emotional attachment. However, you should follow your toddler's cues. If he pushes you away when you try to give him a hug or hold him, don't push it.

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      Make eye contact regularly. Dr. Sears says that eye contact is a good way to promote attachment when your toddler resists physical touch. Look lovingly at your toddler, but be careful not to be too intense and make him uncomfortable. If he looks away, ask him to look at you while you are talking. He will feel more comfortable over time.

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      Use a nurturing tone. Don't respond harshly to your toddler's outbursts. When your toddler is lashing out, he needs you the most. Outbursts may be a result of fear or confusion, or they may be an attempt to test your boundaries. Show your toddler that you are there for him and that he can expect you to respond in a calm and loving manner.

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      Be reliable and consistent. Routine helps your toddler feel secure. When you are there when you say you will be and you adhere to a predictable schedule, you help your toddler trust you.

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