Tips For Potty Training a 3 1/2 Year Old

Lay the Groundwork

• The key to potty training a 3 1/2 year old is motivation. If the child has no interest in using the potty, nothing you can do will make him use it. Rather than trying to force the issue, work on creating the desire to potty train. If your child will be starting preschool soon, take him on a tour of the school. Show him all the new and exciting things he will get to do. Let him meet the teacher. If you can, mention ahead of time that you are about to potty train. The teacher may be willing to reinforce the importance of potty training to your child.

  At the same time, invest in a dozen or two simple prefold diapers and two to three covers. Unlike paper diapers, prefolds do not wick moisture away from the child's skin, so he feels uncomfortably wet the instant he eliminates. This discomfort helps the child pay attention to his bodily functions and creates the desire to be dry.

Teach Potty Skills

• The most effective way to teach potty skills is through imitation and hands-on experience. Let your child accompany you to the bathroom and explain each step as you do it. This is especially effective with the same-gender parent but can be done with the opposite gender parent as well. When you have finished, tell the child it is his turn to try.

  Books and videos featuring his favorite characters are a great way to reinforce what you have taught in the bathroom.

Set Goals and Celebrate Achievements

• Help your child set goals for himself. His big goal may be starting preschool, so help him break this down into smaller goals and milestones. For example, you may begin by challenging him to stay dry between visits to the potty. Take him to the potty, then set a timer for 45 minutes or an hour. When the timer goes off, tell the child it is potty time. If he is dry when he makes it to the bathroom, celebrate. Reward him with a sticker on the calendar or a silly song and dance and point out how quickly he can get back to playing.

  When he has mastered this goal, challenge him to stay dry for a whole day. When he has been dry for several days, celebrate by taking a trip to the store to choose his very own big kid underwear. Continue to praise and celebrate every successful trip to the potty.

  Be prepared for accidents and regressions. Many children who are excited to potty train and seem to catch on very quickly regress after the novelty wears off. In this case, simply clean up the mess (or better yet, have the child help you clean it up) and change his clothes. During this process, point out how much faster he could have been back to playing had he chosen to listen to his body and gone to the potty instead. Do not punish, simply point out the logical consequences of his choices. At 3 1/2, most children are very interested in exerting control, so often simply acknowledging that they are in control of their bodies is enough to cut a regression short.