How to Raise Teenage Boys
The decisions of teens always seem to mystify parents. This goes double for teenage boys, who are often more at the whims of their hormones than their brains. This, in combination with their newfound need for privacy, makes raising teenage boys quite a task. However, parents can give their boy privacy while still involving themselves in their boy̵7;s life, helping him set good boundaries and make good decisions.
Instructions
Give up some control. Maintain your awareness of your teen boy̵7;s activities while extending the distance at which you watch him. Show him respect by giving him more space for growth, privacy and autonomy. Avoid your natural impulse to snoop into his life. Though the teenage years might be the most tempting for a parent to dig into her child̵7;s affairs, doing so only shows your teen boy that you don̵7;t trust him to take control of his own life. Of course, you should step in when you suspect that he̵7;s becoming involved in vandalism, drug use or other illegal activities, but, for the most part, back off. Demonstrate a non-nosy interest in your teen̵7;s life. Understand your boy̵7;s life through elicitation and open discussion. Ask him what activities he partakes in and who he hangs out with. Don̵7;t pry with your questions; allow for him to give details to the degree he̵7;s comfortable with. When you develop a relationship of sharing information, you̵7;ll find it easy to locate the potential troubles in your teen̵7;s life, troubles on which you can set limits and expectations. Set limits on actions and make your expectations clear. Give your teenager tangible rules you expect him to follow. Explain that, in not following the rules, your boy will be met with consequences. For example, as teen boys are prone to risk and peer pressure, you might set a rule not to allow him to drive with friends in the car. Should he break this rule, he will lose his car privileges. Link this rule, the reasoning behind it and the consequences to make it clear to your teen. Help your teen with decision-making. Sit your teen down for a joint decision-making meeting before big decisions, especially for decisions you know your teen will make without much thought. Developmental Psychologist John Gottman, in his book ̶0;Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child,̶1; points out that a teenage boy̵7;s hormones makes him prone to strong emotions, and strong emotions make a teen boy prone to thinking without acting. As a parent, you can fight back by supervising your teen in his decision-making process. Let him talk through his options while you elicit his goals and help him work out possibly better options. For example, if your teen boy has decided to pursue a girl, and you̵7;ve noticed him becoming more arrogant, you might want to talk to him about his recent changes. He might be trying to appear tough by pushing around classmates or by drinking alcohol at parties. Help him arrive at a decision to drop such behaviors; emphasize that girls don̵7;t like guys who try to look tough, for example. Let him be the final decision-maker, with you as the guide and information provider. Previous:How to Be Supportive to a Teen
