The Effects of Parents Micromanaging Young Adults' Decisions About College

Confidence

• If you refuse to allow your young adult child to make his own decisions ̵1; even if he makes the wrong ones sometimes ̵1; it's likely that he won't develop the confidence to succeed in the "real world." When you treat him like an adult and encourage him to make choices based on his own opinions and interests, such as applying to the college of his choice, you're helping build his confidence, notes HealthyChildren.org, a website of the American Academy of Pediatrics. If you're the one who made his college decisions for him, he might panic if he wants to change majors, or he might believe that he's not capable of living on his own or functioning without your daily assistance.

Stunted Development

• If you micromanage your child as he debates which college to attend or what to study, you stunt his development. Even though your intentions are likely good, your micromanagement denies him a chance to grow into an independent adult. While he still needs your support and guidance, he should begin to adopt more of an adult relationship with you than the parent-child relationship of previous years, according to NYU Child Study Center. If you don't allow him to make his own decisions, he might resent your seemingly oppressive involvement in his life. He might feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious and even depressed.

Long-Term Effects

• As your child matures and adjusts to college life, he might resist your attempts to force him to do things he's not interested in doing, according to the Worcester Polytechnic Institute Student Development and Counseling website. He might blame you for coercing him into the wrong school if he struggles academically or does not fit in socially. He also might refuse to take responsibility for his actions because he's used to you doing things for him, according to University of San Francisco professor Dr. Jim Taylor in an article for Psychology Today. If his ideal career does not easily fall into place, it might be very tempting for a micromanaged college graduate to move back home so he doesn't have to make ̶0;real-life̶1; decisions.

Potential Benefits

• Although your teen undoubtedly needs to learn to make his own decisions, some intervention on your part can help steer him down the right path. For example, you might mention to him that his plan to study art history at an expensive, out-of-state, private university might not be the best choice if he is unable to find gainful employment after graduation. You could help him devise a system for organizing his college applications or offer to proofread his application essays before he submits them.