How to Not Be Overbearing With Teens

An overbearing parent can create a challenging home environment for a teenager, as the teenager vies for increasing independence for approaching adulthood. If you recognize a tendency to be too controlling and demanding with your teen, work to change your parenting techniques. A teen̵7;s main job is to prepare for adulthood and a parent̵7;s job is to support and assist in this goal.

Instructions

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      Ask your teenager how you̵7;re doing, suggests author and physician Mark Goulston, writing for Psychology Today online. By approaching your teen in an open and honest manner, seeking your child̵7;s opinion about whether you are acting like an overbearing parent, your teen may be more likely to give you honest feedback.

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      Resist the urge to overreact or become defensive if your teenager tells you that you are acting in a controlling manner. Instead, apologize and tell your teenager that you want to make significant changes in your parenting.

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      Strive to give your teenager space from hovering and control, advises psychologist John M. Grohol, with the online resource PsychCentral. Instead of trying to exert your will and control over your teenager̵7;s actions, step back to allow your teenager the opportunity to make decisions.

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      Support your teenager respectfully as he works to learn and grow toward adulthood. Let your teenager know that you are available to listen and talk as necessary.

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      Listen to your teenager when she seeks support or advice, suggests the Palo Alto Medical Foundation. Ask open-ended questions to get more information and clarify points. Use empathy as you try to relate to your teen and understand her situation.

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      Explore options with your teenager to help him see what̵7;s available in any situation. This brainstorming activity can bring you and your teen closer together, while you gently guide and help him make responsible and positive choices.

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      Pay close attention to your need for control with your teenager in an attempt to moderate your behavior. The need for control can be hard to break. If you feel the urge to step in and take over with your teen̵7;s decision-making, stop yourself and step back instead. Sometimes, you may even have to bite your tongue or take a walk to avoid your natural tendency to micromanage.

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