How to Handle Immaturity in Teenagers

The teen years are awkward for everyone, yet as a parent, you likely yearn to help your child navigate the murky waters of adolescence unscathed. This task can become more difficult if you perceive your child̵7;s level of social maturity is lagging behind that of his peers. Dr. Steven Richfield, child psychologist and author of ̶0;The Parent Coach: A New Approach to Parenting in Today̵7;s Society,̶1; notes the varied maturity levels observed in today̵7;s teens and describes the pitfalls that can await those at the lower end of the spectrum. By acknowledging your teen̵7;s trailing maturity, however, you can help him improve his behavior.

Instructions

    • 1

      Engage in a conversation about social immaturity. Recognizing how this concept applies to him, according to Dr. Richfield, will help him understand his previous difficulties fitting in. Describe studies showing the developing nature of a teenager̵7;s brain, such as those conducted by researchers at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts. Explain how the level of brain development affects his behavior and help him understand the limited time frame during which he will likely face related issues.

    • 2

      Nurture your teen̵7;s ability to self-reflect. Explain how he can recognize his own bouts of immaturity now that you have brought the issue to his attention. Describe social cues he should be on the lookout for and explain how listening and observing others can help him to slow down and better integrate into his peer groups.

    • 3

      Point out particular behaviors that may be alienating your teen from his peers. Dr. Richfield describes these as ̶0;immaturity themes,̶1; which you can help your teen to recognize through an open dialogue at home. Increase your child̵7;s awareness of these behaviors within the family unit so that he will be more likely to notice and avoid them in other social situations.

    • 4

      Create opportunities for your teen to be a kid. Act silly and goof off with him on occasion in order to alleviate the pressure of shifting dynamics in his world. Explain the difference between youthful behavior and immature behavior.

    • 5

      Remain open and available for future discussions on the topic of fitting in. Ease your teen̵7;s social anxiety by providing him opportunities to continue exploring how his behavior is perceived by others. Discuss these topics in a non-judgmental fashion and enlist the help of a trusted older family member to model certain behaviors when possible. Praise your teen when you witness progress on his part and continue to encourage him even as certain behaviors persist.

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