How to Raise Twin Teen Daughters
Raising twins is inherently challenging, but it can become more so in the teen years, when emotions run high. Twins may feel especially competitive with one another, often experiencing even more intense rivalry than siblings who are spaced further apart, says KidsHealth. When teachers and friends mistake them for the same person, they need to know their parents don't. It's natural for teens to struggle to individuate themselves from their parents, but twins also struggle to individuate themselves from each other. Helping your twin girls define their own interests and personalities lets them know you see them as separate and special people.
Instructions
Spend one-on-one time with each twin doing something she enjoys. Give her your undivided attention and show an interest in what she cares about. If she wants to talk about her twin, let her bring up the subject. Treat your teens as separate but equal. Enforce the same behavioral expectations and consequences for both. Enlist the help of your spouse or co-parent in keeping your rules and responses to behaviors consistent. Discourage your twins from tattling on or speaking for each other. Refrain from asking one for information about the other unless you suspect the twin in question is in danger of harming herself or someone else. Praise your daughters for their individual good qualities, without inadvertently putting the other down. For example, "I'm proud of you for doing well in school," is very different from, "You're a better student than your sister." Nip competition in the bud, especially if one twin is the leader and the other is the follower. If one of your daughters always tries to keep up with the other, it can prevent her from finding her own strengths. Encourage the less assertive twin to participate in her own interests and help her find outlets for doing so. Remind yourself often not to label your twins, as they can carry labels with them for life. If you see one as smart and the other as athletic, for example, it can discourage the athlete from trying hard in school and the scholar from participating in sports. Remind them that their job as teenagers is to try different things and explore their identities. Allow your teens to enroll in separate schools if necessary. Teachers and peers can also apply labels. Your twins might be tired of being mistaken for and compared to one another. Separate schools can be especially helpful when twins become too dependent on one another.