Careless Parenting Vs. Responsible Parenting

Discipline vs. Punishment

• Responsible parenting uses discipline to teach children how to live responsibly and set boundaries for themselves in adulthood. Without discipline, many children display undesirable behaviors that negatively affect all aspects of their lives -- school, home and peer relationships -- and continue to cause problems for them as adults. Discipline and punishment are not the same; discipline means to teach and targets unwanted behaviors, while punishment tends to focus on the child, says extension specialist Novella Ruffin with Virginia State University. Careless parenting doesn't seek to eradicate unwanted behaviors by teaching a child new, appropriate ones; it seeks to punish the child and instill fear in him in hopes that this fear will prevent future misconduct. Ruffin notes that punishment doesn't work for several reasons: It teaches a child to hate himself and others, encourages a child to think he's "bad" and also encourages kids who receive physical punishment to be violent toward others.

Quality Time

• With parents' hectic schedules, it might not always seem feasible for them to spend quality time with their children; however, with responsible parenting styles, parents understand the importance of making time to spend with their kids. When kids see their parents taking the time to get to know them -- asking about their day and actively listening to them -- they get the notion they are valuable and important to their parents, which boosts their self-esteem, says educator Lois Clark, with the Ohio State University Extension. With careless parenting, parents are unresponsive to their children's emotional needs, and don't make a sincere and consistent effort to connect with them. Children with unmet emotional needs are at risk for poor mental and emotional health.

Communication

• Responsible parenting places huge importance on effective communication among family members. Effective communication has several components, which include active listening, paying attention to nonverbal cues and emotional regulation. Healthy and effective communication in families helps socialize children and helps form a family identity, says human development specialist Mary Gosche, with the University of Missouri Extension. With responsible parenting, parents encourage their children to express their thoughts and feelings openly and without reproach or judgment. When conflicts arise, parents using responsible parenting styles are focused on using effective communication to resolve conflicts, taking into consideration both theirs and their children's concerns. Parents using careless parenting styles are ineffective in their communication with their children. They might yell, scream and ridicule in the home to express anger and frustration. These parents might not encourage mutual respect in communication, but insist that their kids do as they're told without giving feedback.

Love and Nurturing

• Children benefit immensely from the warmth, love and nurturing they receive from their parents. The Child Welfare Information Gateway website notes that nurturing a child in the early years is associated with better academic achievement, healthier behaviors, positive peer interactions and resilience against stress. Responsible parenting is replete with love and nurturing for healthy child development. Careless parenting will neglect to consistently provide a child with a loving, nurturing environment, and might even leave a child susceptible to abuse and maltreatment. Parents can demonstrate loving behavior toward their children in many ways, including saying "I love you" as often as possible, and by showing their kids they love them by spending quality time with them.