How to Cope With a Child Acting Out
The stress parents undergo when a child acts out can be so great that they find themselves walking on eggshells. Struggling fearfully to avoid triggers that set off such conduct, and giving in to such behavior are both inadequate ways of dealing with acting out. It is vital to set limits for what is acceptable and have a definite plan to tackle misbehavior. Although the specific tactics will differ from one child to another, the basic principles remain the same: divert attention with younger kids, prevent injury to self and others, provide positive input, and most importantly, keep calm.
Instructions
Identify particular situations, places, and people that trigger episodes. Minimize the exposure your child has to such stimuli to reduce the negative behavior. This may not always be feasible. In such cases, try to provide distractions that draw the child̵7;s attention to other pleasurable aspects. For example, if your little one throws a tantrum when other kids want to share her toys, divert her attention to another toy by presenting it as being something exclusively for her. Prepare a plan of action to handle the acting out. Consider your child̵7;s temperament. With kids who get violent, the action you take should ensure they don̵7;t hurt themselves or others. When acting out involves milder behavior such as screaming, crying, scowling or refusing to listen to you, it's safe to move out of sight. For example, if your child usually has outbursts at the supermarket, do not argue or try to cajole her. Instead, walk out calmly. Talk to your child when he is in a good mood and explain the behavior you expect from him. Provide positive input by saying what you want him to do rather than what he should not do. Follow this up by telling him how you will respond if ̵1; not when ̵1; he begins acting out. Follow through on what you have stated every single time he exhibits the undesirable behavior. Keep yourself calm and whatever the provocation, don̵7;t respond by yelling. Count 1 to 10, take deep breaths or move away physically from the situation. Do this consistently. Over time, as your child realizes he cannot get you to react, he will be less inclined to use this behavior to get your attention. Tell your child you are willing to discuss the issue at hand, provided she calms down. Use a gentle, but firm tone as you say this. Most kids throw a tantrum expecting that you will not give in to a demand. When you show a willingness to listen, your child develops the confidence that you are ready to consider other options. When he starts saying what he wants, listen without interruption and propose a solution that gives him a choice. This will make him feel respected and the acting out ̵1; which may be an attention grabbing gimmick ̵1; will reduce considerably. Prepare yourself mentally for a struggle in the initial stages when you stop giving in to your child̵7;s behavior. Kids will try to push your buttons to see how long you stand your ground. Be consistent in sticking to the guidelines you have laid down to show you mean business.
