Should a Child Be Forced to Continue Violin Lessons?

Young Musicians

• How old your child is and how long she has been playing the violin are obvious factors that should be considered. While an early elementary child may balk at lessons as soon as the honeymoon period ends, this isn't necessarily a sign that she should be allowed to quit violin lessons. Robert Cutietta, professor of music education at the University of Southern California and author of "Raising Musical Kids" explains that this is normal for many kids when the excitement of a new activity is gone. He recommends setting realistic goals before the honeymoon period ends and to keep the goals music-oriented -- such as playing a certain section -- instead of playing for a certain amount of time. Family psychologist John Rosemond adds that forcing children to continue with an activity they do not enjoy may prevent them from expressing interest in new activities in the future out of fear that they will be forced to continue whether they enjoy the activity or not.

Older Musicians

• By the time your child reaches middle and high school it may be time to loosen the reigns and respect his decision to stop taking violin lessons. Older children who have taken lessons for a number of years who suddenly decide they no longer want to play should be allowed to express their feelings and reasoning for quitting lessons. This may include a desire to play a different instrument, a fear of being different from peers or discomfort from missing out on social activities.

  While playing the violin, or any musical instrument, has been shown to increase IQ and academic achievement, these benefits decrease as your child ages. E. Glenn Schellenberg, PhD, in a study published in the May 2006 "Journal of Educational Psychology," found that 6 years of music lessons increases the IQ of children between 6 and 11 an average of 7.5 points compared to children without the same amount of lessons; by the time they are freshmen in college, the gap is a mere 2 points.

Evaluate Your Feelings

• Sometimes well-meaning parents force children to continue with violin lessons because they have invested money into a quality violin and years of lessons. They fear that allowing their child to quit violin lessons means they have wasted their money. Other times, parents have invested so much time and energy into their child's success that they are not willing to let go of their dreams of their child playing the violin for a lifetime. When this happens, the struggle to continue lessons may no longer be about what is good for the child, but instead reflect the parent's feelings about violin lessons.

Alternatives

• It's common to think in terms or all or nothing, but there really are alternatives. Consider other options, such as trying a new instrument or taking voice lessons for younger children. Older children may desire giving up violin lessons, but continuing to play on a more informal level. Giving up the violin concerts in favor of playing with a group for charity benefits -- or simply for fun -- keeps your child active with the violin while avoiding the dreaded lessons and hours of practice. Other options include taking a break from lessons for a specified period, such as taking the summer off or scheduling fewer lesson during the school year, while you child is busy, and catching up during the summer.