How to Practice the Six Stages of Parenting

Read books about child care and talk to people who already have children to gain information about parenting. You are in Galinsky's image-making stage of parenting. It begins even before pregnancy with speculations about what it would be like to have a baby. Your circumstances, such as your age, marriage status, employment status and familial support, will affect your personal feelings about your pregnancy. With your baby growing inside you, you build up mental pictures of how you hope to care for him and ideas about what you will do together.

Accept the reality of taking care of a small person who needs your attention at least once every two hours, every day, all day long. The nurturing stage begins after birth. The birth process, the health of your child and the reality of caring for a small creature impact the mental pictures built up during the image-making stage. The attitudes of people around you will also influence the way you approach feeding, changing diapers, cuddling and interacting with your baby. Develop a habit of taking pictures because your little one will grow up far more quickly than you will believe at 2 a.m. when she wants to play instead of going back to sleep.

Find ways to say "yes" and "well done" to your child, as well as "no." Stage three is the authority stage of parenting. It lasts from your baby's first mobility until approximately age 4 or 5. You make decisions about where your child should play, who he should play with, when he should nap, when he should go to bed, what he should be eating and whether a particular item is a safe toy. During this phase, use positive parenting skills to build up his ability to manage life skills, such as speaking politely to adults and peers and putting away his toys.

Continue to apply positive parenting skills as your child gains new abilities. The interpretive stage develops gradually from the authority stage. Your child goes to school, gets taller and gains numerous skills. She will also begin to question your authority. You will question your own judgement, wondering if you could find a better way to get her to clean her own room or whether you should let her play with a particular child. Discuss your methods with other caring adults, read books on parenting and listen to your child. Active listening, even if you forbid an activity, assures her that she is important to you and helps you learn about her. When she responds positively to your parenting, you feel better about yourself as a parent.

Let your child make some of the decisions. The interdependent stage develops gradually as the interpretive stage ends, about the same time that adolescence begins. In some ways, it almost seems as if you are returning to the authority stage because you revisit a lot of basics like when to sleep, whether friends are acceptable and even what your child should be eating. But now you are parenting a youngster who is as tall as you are, has better reflexes and thinks he is smarter than you. Pick your battles at this age. It is far more important to keep him safe than to struggle with whether he puts his laundry in a hamper.

Let go of the reins gradually. The departure stage is when your child leaves home or becomes responsibly independent. Departure is different for every family. Some children make a clean break, making you feel proud of the way they manage their lives. Some will need your help as they struggle with finding their own way, while others will storm out the door and do not look back. In this stage, you adjust to a house that no longer rings with adolescent voices, deal with your child's life choices and evaluate your performance as a parent.