How to Parent a Strong Willed Child

Finding the most effective ways to handle your child's behavior benefits his development. It also helps you form a rewarding partnership with your child. Although it can be challenging to parent a strong-willed child, mastering the art of appropriate discipline is essential. Direct your child's dynamic energy toward positive goals to avoid stifling his spirit.

Instructions

    • 1

      Find common ground with your child. Engage in regular dialogue about her interests and motivations. Ask open-ended questions to ensure conversations consist of more than head nodding. Show your child that you're on the same team to avoid being seen as the enemy. Strong-willed children are more likely to cooperate with your wishes if they feel their opinions are valued.

    • 2

      Relay your expectations with clarity and brevity. Setting firm boundaries is essential, as strong-willed children often assess their resolve against that of others. Avoid long lectures because this may trigger urges to twist your words or block you out altogether. Let your child know that while he has a right to his own opinions, you won't tolerate certain actions from him. This dedication to "keeping it simple" can help ensure you're on the same page with your child.

    • 3

      Ditch ineffective disciplinary rules and consequences. This includes closing loopholes in existing rules. Promptly follow up with appropriate consequences for violations. Learn what your child values to use this as leverage for compliance. For example, taking away a prized privilege may prove more effective than simply giving your strong-willed child a "good talking to." Although consistency is ideal, avoid being stuck in an endless cycle of ineffective disciplinary action.

    • 4

      Exercise patience in the midst of conflict. Realize that getting into screaming matches with your child only adds fuel to the fire. It also weakens any points you've made regarding respectful communication. Stand firm without provoking your child to fight against your efforts. This may involve cooling off before initiating disciplinary action.

    • 5

      Divert his energy into constructive activities. This helps build self-confidence and ensures he's using his gifts for "good." Suitable activities include joining sports teams or volunteering for community projects. Encourage him to break stereotypes regarding strong-willed children, including that they're too difficult or problematic to work with.

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