How to Help Children Verbalize Feelings
Young children whose language skills are just developing seldom have the words to express, or even understand, their feelings. While they experience many of the same emotions as adults, they react in more basic, primitive ways. Parents and teachers can help the children improve their language skills and at the same time give children the words they need to make themselves understood by their peers as well as adults.
Instructions
Use the words that they need. Help them identify anger, sadness, frustration and other feelings. "You look sad. You must be lonely because Tommy is on vacation and can't play with you." "You are angry because your brother took the toy you were playing with." Help him find ways of expressing what he is feeling. "Hitting your brother was not a good thing to do. Can you think of something better?" Show him how you look when you are angry. "Remember when I couldn't find my car keys yesterday? Did I have a mad face?" Tell him what you do when you are angry. "I sit down for a minute and take a deep breath." Then be sure to do that the next time you really are angry, and show your child what you are doing. Read books about feelings. Parents can read a child's favorite books and interpolate questions and suggestions about how the characters are feeling. "Do you think (the character) is mad? What do you think he should do?" Role-play with dolls or action figures. Children often act out their aggressive feelings by letting their toys battle each other, usually with sound effects. Ask him if he can tell you why the toys are angry at each other. Demonstrate different ways to respond to situations that provoke anger, sadness or frustration. If a child customarily responds to frustrating situations with hitting, crying, or tantrums, choose a quiet, calm moment to act out a frustrating situation and ask him to suggest ways of dealing with it. Teachers should develop strategies for engaging young children in activities that require sharing or taking turns. Praise the child for using words to express emotions. Explain that words are necessary to let others know how he feels. Let him know it is all right to experience his feelings. What children, and many adults, need to learn is how to verbalize those feelings in ways that are productive and appropriate. Assure him that it is all right to tell you how he feels but it is not all right to hit or throw things. A popular expression is "Use your words." That phrase should remind an angry child to say, "I'm really mad" instead of throwing a toy.
