Building Resiliency in Kids

Build Confidence

• A confident child is better able to respond when an unexpected situation arises, because she trusts her ability to do things on her own. Your words and actions affect your child's confidence. Sincere praise builds your child's confidence by helping her identify her strengths. Encourage her to try and do things by herself instead of always jumping in to rescue her. Give your child a chance to make choices for herself. Letting her face the natural consequences of her actions also helps her understand that she has control in life. For example, if she forgets her school project at home, she might get a lower grade. When she is able to understand the connection between her actions and the results of them, she will be better able to take charge of situations.

Create Stability

• Stability at home gives your child a loving, safe base when other aspects in her life feel out of control. A child needs to know she is loved and protected by her family. If she feels unsure about her home life, a traumatic event could throw her off balance even further. She may feel that she doesn't have anywhere to go for support when dealing with the stressful situation. Consistently treating your child with respect and giving her a safe home life full of love helps her become more resilient.

Stay Healthy

• A child who is healthy is better able to handle things that come her way. Encouraging healthy habits allows your child to feel well, strong and alert. Getting plenty of sleep allows her to think clearly. A child who is tired is more likely to throw fits and have a meltdown when things don't go as expected. Hunger and improper nutrition can have similar effects. If she doesn't eat healthy foods, she won't have the physical and mental energy to face situations that come up. Exercise is another way to build your child's resilience. Physical activity increases her strength and gives her a way to work out frustrations.

Emphasize Positive Outlook

• Your own outlook on situations influences how your child sees life. If you worry constantly or look at events in a negative light, she is more likely to develop that same pessimistic outlook. Waiting for something bad to happen or fearing change decreases your child's resilience. When changes happen in your family, talk about the situation. In the case of a relocation, for example, you might say, "It is sad that we have to move. We'll miss our friends, but we get to explore a new city and make even more friends. And we can always come back to visit our old friends here."

Get Involved

• Building relationships in the community gives your child a safety net. She will develop friendships that give her a sense of joy and security. When a stressful event occurs, she will have a network of friends around her for support.

  Participating in community projects or helping out others gives your child a way to make an impact on the world. She sees the positive impression she can make on those around her. During a difficult time, that self-knowledge helps gives her a greater sense of purpose and builds her emotional resiliency. For example, if a tornado destroys part of the community, she may find peace in collecting donated items for those affected.