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How to teach kids about Ramadan through celebration

As a kid of the 90s and early 2000s, I have vivid memories of sitting out in the hallway during snacktime in fifth grade and hanging out in the library with the one other Muslim girl in school during lunch all throughout my middle school years every time Ramadan came around. It was less about me not being able to handle being around food while fasting and more about the awkwardness felt by my teachers and peers, not knowing how to deal with what was still a foreign holiday for many in my hometown. So, as a Muslim American and as a fairly new mom, it’s exciting to see Ramadan inch closer to taking a front seat in mainstream American culture over the years because it means my children will have better memories of one of the most important and holiest months of the Muslim calendar year.

Much of what follows are ideas for Muslim parents and caregivers who want to up their celebration game for the Ramadan holiday; however, there are bits for non-Muslims as well because I truly believe that efforts toward inclusion must be made by all. I make an effort to teach my children about more mainstream celebrations like Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter and Holi, as there is beauty in being able to celebrate cultural and religious traditions with your neighbors — even if you don’t subscribe to their belief systems. And I take pride in performing my duty as a Muslim in teaching others how to respect, honor and take part in our celebrations in return.

In 2022, Ramadan begins the evening of Friday, April 1, and ends the evening of Sunday, May 1 — roughly, depending on the moon — and Eid al-Fitr celebrations (often, just referred to as Eid) begin Monday, May 2. Whether you’re a Muslim parent or caregiver, caring for a Muslim child, or if you’re not Muslim and are simply curious about how to teach kids and learn yourself what Ramadan is all about, there is something everyone can learn from the parents, experts and resources below.

Learn the Ramadan basics

Unlike faiths like Christianity that have embraced the Gregorian calendar, Islam follows the Lunar calendar (meaning; we follow the moon). That means, based on the Lunar calendar, Ramadan falls around 10-11 days earlier every year, making it difficult for western society to adjust to the changing dates of our religious months and days. If you’re not Muslim but are familiar with Ramadan, then you may have noticed that your friends and peers have taken part in the annual fast in different seasons. And if you’re Muslim, I bet you’re counting down the years until the next winter Ramadan just like I am (looking at you, Ramadan 2031…).

With this in mind, the following is a list of basic teachings that kids and their grown-ups should take the time to learn together.

Ramadan is the month, not just the holiday

Ramadan is the ninth and holiest month (29-30 days depending on the moon) of the Muslim calendar, in which those who subscribe to Islam believe that the Muslim Holy Book, The Quran, was revealed to Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him (PBUH), through the Angel Jibril (aka Gabriel).

It is meant to be a month of spiritual reflection, cleansing oneself of the material world and complete submission to a Higher Power. The experience of fasting from earthly desires is meant to be a practice of self-discipline and humbling oneself.

Muslims enjoy one or two meals but fast from sun up to sun down

There are two important meals during Ramadan and, depending on the person fasting, they will partake in both or only one of them (I’ll explain in a moment).

SUHOOR (suḥūr) – Suhoor is the pre-dawn meal. Think of this as a very early breakfast. So early that you’re eating it in complete darkness (you can, of course, turn on the lights if you enjoy that type of torture at 3 a.m.!). This is meant to be a light meal that will help sustain your energy and curb your appetite throughout the day, and it must be eaten before sunrise, which is when the fast officially starts.

Personally, I prioritize sleep over hunger because the mix of the two is bad news for anyone in my path, so roughly 24 of the ~30 days, I choose to sleep in during mealtime and opt for a bedside glass of water and three Advil to help with the inevitable caffeine withdrawals I will experience mid-afternoon as an avid coffee drinker. I do, however, envy those who make a party out of the early morning meal and have the energy to enjoy a full spread at such an ungodly hour of the day! In high school, my parents made a tradition out of taking us all to IHOP at least one day of the month for Suhoor, which made the experience more exciting and enjoyable. I have fond memories of chatting with truckers, who were also up at that time enjoying a meal in the restaurant.

IFTAR(ʾifṭār) – Iftar is the name for the meal that Muslims break their fast with. This happens at sundown, and every fast is traditionally opened with at least one date and a glass of water before getting to the main course(s). During Ramadan, it is encouraged to break fast with friends and family and to invite others to the Iftar table (Muslim or not). Feeding others, especially during Ramadan, is an act of sunnah (good deeds modeled by Prophet Muhammad PBUH), so for the non-Muslims in the audience, join your Muslim friends at the dinner table this Ramadan. You are quite literally helping them fulfill their religious duties!  

Fasting means more than just refraining from eating

While the most commonly known aspect of fasting during Ramadan is refraining from food consumption, that’s not all that Muslims are expected to fast from. Any earthly desires, vices or bad habits should also be abstained from. Everything from gambling and alcohol consumption (already a general “no-no” in Islam) to smoking, and things like cursing, lying and backbiting or gossiping are all things that can be considered ways in which a fasting Muslim would break their fast. It seems easy, but have you ever had to refrain from using colorful language while hungry at 5 p.m. with no coffee since the night before and three more hours of the fast to go? 

As Muslims are a minority here in the U.S., it’s only natural that we are likely to be surrounded by non-Muslims during our active days at work, school, etc. during Ramadan. It’s not only important but also so appreciated when we have friends and colleagues who support us emotionally and encourage us to be our best selves during these long days of fasting. 

No, not even water

Yes, you read that right. While it’s become somewhat of an Internet sensation and “non-Muslim proverb” these days, it’s always surprising to me that it is still surprising to others to find out that even water is prohibited during the fasting hours of Ramadan. 

Charity is important

Ramadan is about community, as much as it is about humbling and grounding oneself. Charity is not only one of the five main pillars of Islam but is absolutely mandatory during Ramadan. Support your Muslim friends by getting involved in charitable work together. Head to a shelter or soup kitchen on your lunch break or after work. Pass out food to those who need it in your area. Make a donation to your favorite charity in your friend’s name in honor of Ramadan. There is so much charity to give and so much that is needed. 

To my Muslim brothers and sisters, encouraging your non-Muslim peers and friends to get involved with your charitable efforts during the holiday is a great way to show them what Islam is all about. 

Get festive for Ramadan

Where to buy: Moon & Star String Lights ($29, Days of Eid)

I am amateur at best when it comes to holiday and festivity decor, BUT I know that it makes all the difference, especially with children! One of my favorite things about Christmas time is the lights and decor throughout the neighborhoods around the country. No matter how old you are, blinking lights strung up around a home and a beautifully decorated tree will never not make someone happy. 

Decorate for Ramadan

We didn’t have Ramadan decor when I was a kid, so it’s incredible to see how available these items have become because it gives the opportunity to bring some visual excitement around our family’s holiday that was missing from my childhood. Everything from intricate lanterns and Ramadan banners (shown below) to star and moon lights (shown above) and Ka’aba garlands — and even something called a Ramadan Tree (it’s super cute!) are becoming common home decor lately!  

Where to buy: Ramadan & Eid Mubarak DIY felt banner ($30, Designed by Sanna)

Make a DIY Ramadan Advent calendar

Since I’m an amateur decorator, I pulled in one of my favorite Instagrammable mamas, Helda of @thesalemsquad, who shares many DIY craft activities that you can get kiddies involved in creating.  

“I love getting my girls involved in every celebration because, in my opinion, everything deserves to be celebrated, especially Ramadan,̶1; says Helda, a mom of twin girls and a new baby boy. ̶0;To be able to share these activities with them opens the floor for conversation and questions to already curious little minds.̶1;

Helda̵7;s Ramadan version of the Christmas Advent calendar is one of my absolute favorite activities/decoration crafts of hers. It̵7;s 30 days long instead of 25 and filled with not only candy and treats for your little ones but tiny notes encouraging them to do good deeds each of the 30 days. She uses simple materials like paper envelopes, crafting wire and string and gold stars and lanterns for that added Ramadan feel.

̶0;Involving [my kids] at such a young age is important to me,̶1; adds Helda, ̶0;because I didn’t always have that growing up in a first-generation immigrant home. I create in hopes that this becomes a growing tradition. I want my kids to look back and remember all the fun activities we did to learn about Ramadan and hope that they’ll want to do the same with their kids.”

Check out Helda̵7;s Insta video on the making the DIY Ramadan Advent calendar.

Celebrate with loved ones 

The Ramadan holiday is about reminding yourself of all that you have to be grateful for, and there is no better way to celebrate and honor that gratitude than to do it surrounded by loved ones. One of my favorite things to do during Ramadan is to invite my non-Muslim friends to Iftar dinners. It’s an opportunity to spend quality time with everyone and to show love and appreciation the best way I know how — through food! 

If you’re a non-Muslim who’s been invited to a Ramadan Iftar and you’re wondering what to bring, food is never the wrong answer! Ask your host what they may need to add to the table. It could be as simple as picking up bread or they could possibly use your help with an appetizer or dessert course! Just be sure to respect the no alcohol and pork products rule of thumb. 

When in doubt, you can never go wrong with gifts like chocolates, nuts and, of course, dates (they are always in short supply in a Muslim home during this time of year!). For the last two years, Joolies has released a special Ramadan Box of their best dates of the harvest making for the perfect “grab and go” gift idea for the holiday. The best part? The box is so cute it doesn’t even need to be wrapped! 

Where to buy: Ramadan Gift Box ̵1; 2 LB Organic Medjool Dates ($30, Joolies)

A call to action (for everyone)

As Muslims, we should be as excited to invite our non-Muslim friends along for the spiritual journey that is Ramadan, as much as we expect them to jump at the opportunity to want to learn more about it. However you choose to celebrate this year, making an effort to recognize Ramadan as a widely celebrated holiday and taking the time to learn about it and teach kids how to embrace inclusion and diversity goes a long way. And it’s important to remember that this effort is a two-way street. 

“Representation matters: You cannot be what you cannot see,̶1; says Shirin Zarqa-Lederman, international child and adolescent psychologist, specializing in trauma services and community psychology. ̶0;A prayer room would go a long way in making a child feel welcomed in a public school,̶1; she says, explaining the importance of schools (and workplaces) taking action to recognize and provide support for Muslim students (and staff). 

̶0;Schools should accommodate for Ramadan.̶1; For example, she explains, they can provide an alternative so kids don̵7;t have to sit in the lunchroom (or out in the hallway) while they are fasting.

̶0;We tell children to be mindful, but it’s our job as adults to teach them that. Acknowledging Muslim students and including them by giving them a space of their own in their school gives them a sense of belonging.̶1; Case in point, she continues, ̶0;For years, studies have shown us that children perform better in schools when they feel a sense of attachment to their schools.̶1;

̶0;Making accommodations for Muslim students would go a long way in healing trauma caused by the discrimination Muslims have faced post 9/11,̶1; Zarqa-Lederman says. ̶0;Muslims have been part of every facet of this country since its establishment. It only makes sense to ensure that their contributions are valued and honored.̶1;

As an American Muslim, it is inspiring and wonderful to see how far we have come as a collective American community towards embracing Islam as a “mainstream religion” with its own traditions and holidays worthy of widespread recognition and celebration, no matter how much more progress may need to be made. It’s a journey we must all agree and be eager to go on, together.

Wishing all who are partaking in this year’s fast a peaceful and blessed Ramadan. May your spirits be cleansed, may your fasts be easy and may your nighttime coffee be so strong that it carries you through the following day. 

Ameen.