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Holiday tipping guide: Who should you tip and how much?

While any time is a good time to show your appreciation for someone who regularly makes your life easier and more pleasant, the holidays traditionally are the time to express your gratitude in the form of cash. By no means is holiday tipping mandatory, but giving someone who regularly provides you with a service a little something extra at the end of the year is always appreciated — perhaps more so than ever this year. 

“A holiday tip or gift should be given to anyone you do business with on a regular basis — babysitters, gardeners, hair stylists, mail carriers, pet sitters, housekeepers, etc.,” says Aileen Avery, author of “Gift Rap: The History and Art of Gift Giving” and founder of The Art of Gift Giving. 

According to Avery, holiday tips needn’t be over-the-top to be valued — but they should always include a hand-written note, expressing your gratitude. “The point is to show someone they’re appreciated,” she explains.

Feeling a little lost when it comes to who should get a holiday tip and how much? Here, experts offer insight on the art of holiday tipping. 

When a gift is better than cash — and vice versa   

Cash is often the preferred gift for many caregivers and service workers, but it’s not necessarily the only way to go, notes Heather Wiese Alexander, an etiquette expert and founder of Bell’INVITO. “If the relationship is personal, absolutely gift, rather than tip,” Alexander says. “A gift says ‘I know you.’ A tip says, ‘I’ve noticed you’ve done a great job and want to reward the effort.’” 

Also, Alexander adds, it’s a “pro-tipping touch” to include your cash tip in a holiday card. “Most of my clients will order extra holiday cards specifically to deliver their tips,” she says.

When there’s a gray area of a personal relationship with someone you pay regularly, like a babysitter or hair stylist, Alexander recommends adding a small, meaningful gift to a tip.

Another consideration is whether someone’s employer allows cash tips at all. The U.S. Postal Service, for example, says that its mail carriers shouldn’t take cash gifts of any amount (including checks and gift cards), and non-cash gifts have to be under $20. If you aren’t sure if someone is able to receive a cash gift, reach out to their employer to find out.

Who to tip and how much

When figuring out how much to give and who to give it to, experts recommend considering the following:

• The relationship: How close you are with the recipient is an important consideration, says Holly Flanders, a child care coach in New York City. When nannies or babysitters have been caring for your kids for years, they can feel like family. For those special relationships, it’s common to give a little more than you would have given if they were new to the job. Likewise, if you’ve seen the same hairdresser every eight weeks for the better part of a decade, you might want to give him or her a larger year-end tip than someone who’s cutting your hair for the very first time.
• Your budget: Families often have a lot of financial obligations during the holidays. What you give and to how many people should fall within your financial means, explains Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of the Protocol School of Texas. If money is tight, prioritize who to tip based on the relationship you have with them or value of the service they provide to your family. And if you can’t give cash, consider a homemade gift or thoughtful note instead.
• Their position: According to Alexander, reserve cash tips for employees, such as nail technicians, baristas and hairstylists. “Cash tips are traditionally for employed status individuals and gifts are traditionally more for a business owner who might be in your list for an end of year appreciation,” she says.  
• Your personal preferences: When it comes down to it, giving a tip is a lot like giving a present. If you want to give someone something to show your appreciation, go for it, Gottsman says.

When you can’t afford to tip 

If finances are tight for your family this year, there are still a number of ways to show your appreciation for people you normally tip. “The key, whether gifting or tipping, is sincerity,” says Alexander. “If all you can do is write a thoughtful note, you’d be amazed at how much it will be appreciated. Never let the thought of not doing enough keep you from doing something. Give from your heart — and always write something sincere.”

Holiday tip chart recommendations

According to experts, here are suggestions for who you should (and shouldn̵7;t) tip and how much during the holidays.