8 Reasons Why Nannies Quit
Challenges are inevitable in any job, but being a nanny often takes those trials to new heights. And sometimes nannies and families have to part ways.
But parting is never easy.
̶0;The most challenging experience any of us handle as nannies is leaving a family,̶1; says Glenda Propst, a Missouri-based nanny of 30 years and founder of nannytransitions.com. ̶0;When you spend years of your life loving, caring for and nurturing a child, you fall in love with that child.̶1;
We asked nannies on Care.com̵7;s Facebook page why they quit jobs. Here̵7;s what they said, and how both families and nannies can help prevent these situations:
- Demanding Workload and Hours
̶0;Too many hours, not enough pay ̵2; also super unappreciated. A lot of times in nanny jobs, parents seriously take advantage of your time.̶1; ~ Kara M.When a parent frequently comes home late without notice or asks a live-in nanny to pitch in during ̶0;off hours,̶1; a nanny may feel like she̵7;s constantly hounded by work. Or, worse, that her privacy isn̵7;t valued.
Parents need to respect a child care provider̵7;s time off. If they need her to come earlier or stay later, give advance notice.
And if you don̵7;t have one already, create a nanny contract. It spells out hours, responsibilities and pay rates so that everyone is on the same page about what is expected and when.
- Changing Responsibilities
̶0;I worked for a family that hired me on as nanny, which turned out to be housekeeper/nanny. I had to clean to a seven bedroom home, plus take care of everyone else.̶1; ~ Christina M.̶0;Caring for a child is the most amazing thing,̶1; says Larissa Neilson, nanny of 13 years and author of The LA Nanny Book. ̶0;But it can be tiring, even more so if you are in charge of household duties, such as cleaning, cooking and laundry.̶1;
Duties ̵2; and preference on the way these duties are accomplished ̵2; must be outlined beforehand. ̶0;I will make very clear from the beginning that I am a nanny and that the child will be my priority,̶1; says Neilson. ̶0;However, I will commit to help (with) laundry, cleaning and cooking only for the child.̶1;
Whenever changes or additions in duties arise, parents should consult the nanny first to see if she̵7;s comfortable with a new workload. And of course, pay extra.
- Wage Issues
̶0;Families don̵7;t always understand that this is our livelihoods. It̵7;s only fair that we get paid holidays and vacation. We pay taxes and insurance just like they do. In most cases it makes their lives easier.̶1; ~ Jeannine A.Disagreement about wages is a standard reason why people part ways. Nannies want to be paid fairly for the work they do, but parents may be trying to stretch a budget or may not realize what a fair rate is, that they have to pay overtime or that they should give their nanny a raise.
Unfortunately, there are nanny-employer relationships that aren̵7;t following best practices. Ashley*, an Oregon-based nanny who recently terminated a four-year live-in relationship with her employer due to salary issues, says ̶0;I was working over 40 hours a week with no contracts and zero benefits. Often I would be told in just a week̵7;s notice that they were taking my charges for a week-long vacation, and I would be unpaid the whole time!̶1;
Again, always make sure you have a contract signed by both parties prior to hiring. ̶0;Starting a job without a work agreement is a recipe for an unhappy ending,̶1; explains Propst. ̶0;(It) states what your pay is and what your responsibilities and benefits are. Don̵7;t work for a family that is not going to pay your taxes.̶1;
To learn more, read this article on nanny taxes.
- Cabin Fever and Homesickness
Being cooped up in someone else̵7;s house for long hours every day, with almost no adult interactions is a recipe for cabin fever. ̶0;I̵7;ve worked with nannies who were never allowed to drive the kids anywhere,̶1; shares Neilson. ̶0;Nannies are sometimes socially isolated 40 or 50 hours a week caring for the children. We have very little social life.̶1;And if you̵7;re a live-in nanny, it can feel even more isolating. ̶0;When your workplace is also your living space, it̵7;s hard to feel like you have time off unless you make a point of leaving when you are off duty,̶1; Propst notes.
Parents should encourage activities that allow nannies to establish social circles and gain new experiences while on duty, like taking the kids for a walk at the local park, zoo, museum or playground, and joining playgroups. Or nannies should suggest these outings as a way of helping children learn and practice socializing.
Neilson points out that in order to gain their family̵7;s trust, nannies should exude confidence from day one. This will help parents feel more comfortable with allowing some flexibility in their nanny̵7;s activities and destinations, and will prevent the nanny from feeling secluded.
- A Change in Personal Life
̶0;I was working a wonderful job, but sharing a car with my best friend. My friend got another job where our schedules collided and I had to quit mine because I no longer had a way to work.̶1; ~ Marissa B.When life-changing personal circumstances, such as an engagement, marriage, returning to school, loss of transportation or illness arise, nannies are sometimes forced to relocate and quit ̵2; unless an agreement where they can attend to both their personal and work relationships is reached.
- Different Child Care Philosophies
̶0;I gave notice on a job where I completely disagreed with the parents̵7; child-rearing philosophy (they refused to child proof their home and I was concerned for the baby̵7;s safety).̶1; ~ Ro H.All parents prefer that their own values and belief systems on child rearing are taken into account by their nanny. However, hiring a nanny also means trusting her skills and giving her the freedom to take charge of minor details.
- Unappreciated Efforts
̶0;I was taken advantage of too many times to count. Plus, I was extremely underpaid. I felt very unappreciated. I stuck it out for over three years because I loved those babies too much.̶1; ~ Sherri H.It may be paid work, but caring for children takes heart, commitment and sometimes, compromises. Parents should recognize a nanny̵7;s efforts from time to time, especially on occasions like birthdays or National Nanny Recognition Week.
̶0;No matter how busy parents are, they can always say ̵6;thank you.̵7; Saying thanks can sometimes make a terrible day fabulous!̶1; Neilson explains.
- Miscommunication
̶0;I was working picking up a child from school and dropping him off wherever he needed to be. I showed up to the school multiple times when the child was out sick ̵2; the parents never contacted me and would never respond to my efforts at communicating.̶1; ~ Colby H.A nanny-parent relationship involves two parties with different backgrounds coming together with a shared goal of successfully raising children. Without clear and constant communication, disappointment and resentment are likely.
̶0;If you don̵7;t have good communication and mutual respect, chances are high that the job is not going to last very long. Say the words. Your employer can̵7;t read your mind,̶1; Propst advises.
Set up a daily two-minute meeting at the end of every day to go over things that happened that day. And at the end of the week or every other week, have a longer meeting where you discuss how things are going and any issues that may have arisen.
Learn about these 5 Real Caregiver Relationship Problems, Solved.
- Learn how to be a Fair Care Employer
- Take the Fair Care Pledge
- Find a Nanny
For this relationship to work, it̵7;s important for everyone to create an atmosphere of respect, trust and openness. Propst and Neilson agree that without these important values, nanny-family relationships will eventually fail. Looking for a new job or a new nanny is not easy. If the relationship isn̵7;t working, you need to move on. But you should try to salvage it first.
*Name has been changed
Tiffany Smith has written for All You, Time for Kids and the Boston Globe. Follow her on Twitter at
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