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Kindergarten Prep: Sportsmanship

Being a Good Sport

Kindergarten Prep: Sportsmanship

Being a good sport is a tough concept for kids to wrap their minds around. Young children naturally want to be the first in line or the winner of every game, and when they don't win or get to be first, they can find it frustrating. It is hard for young children to think past their own wants or needs or past their immediate circumstances and consider the possibilities that are ahead. Sportsmanship isn't a skill that is taught in a single lesson—rather it is an ongoing process of building character, empathy, kindness, patience, self-awareness, community awareness, and self-control.

What Your Child Should Know
Sportsmanship has many aspects. Your child should know:

• That when things do not go the way he expected them to go it is still important to keep trying
• How to express feelings of frustration or disappointment to others in such a way that helps him continue to be a positive member of his community
• How to show others that he cares about them

How You Can Help

All of the lessons listed above take time, opportunity, and will most likely be developed after a few tears are shed along the way. As a parent you can help your child by patiently guiding him through the tears and toward a new understanding of each situation. Here are some natural opportunities to help him learn to manage his feelings and develop self-control and patience.

• Play simple board games or travel games in which your child may not end up the winner at times. If he gets upset about losing, help him have perspective on what is so upsetting. Ask why he is upset and invite conversation about the situation and the feelings he has about the situation. Remember, expressing feelings or disappointment isn't wrong. What's harmful is to express those feelings in a way that causes harm to your child or to others. Keep the focus on helping your child constructively express his feelings of disappointment or frustration.
• Be a role model of good sportsmanship-like behavior for your child.
• Give your child plenty of opportunities to play games with other children his own age and the appropriate space he needs to work through frustrating or disappointing moments without your intervention. As young children go through natural childhood conflicts or disappointments in a safe environment, they will begin to develop healthy skills for overcoming these problems later in life.
• Be a good listener and send out an open invitation for your child to talk through his feelings of frustration with you. Sometimes the feelings being expressed may not sound reasonable or rational, but his ability to verbalize those frustrations constructively to you or others is part of the process of developing a healthy sense of self-worth and self-control.
• If your child happens to be on the winning end of most games, help him be respectful of others rather than being boastful or inconsiderate.
• Help your child to reflect on his own behavior and the behavior of others. Where needed, help him talk through what else could have been said or done to make a situation more positive for everyone involved.

The process of building good sportsmanship is an ongoing effort of trial and error, conversations, and experiences that will require your patient guidance and support along the way.

Reflect, Revise, Revisit
Assessing sportsmanship can be both easy and complex, depending on your child's personality. As he is interacting with others you will be able to observe your child's response to winning or losing, getting his way or not getting his way, and being first or being last in line. Use his responses as an opportunity to gauge whether or not healthy habits are being formed and as a basis for providing guidance and support where needed. Engage him in conversations that will lead him in the direction of good decisions and a healthy sense of self-worth and self-control.