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Making Every School Year Successful

What adults can do

Making Every School Year SuccessfulAlex swears he won't stuff erasers up his nose in reading group this year. Ollie pledges, hand on heart, that his handwriting won't look like hairballs. Another school year gets off to a promising start.

Alex and Ollie aren't the only ones who need to pledge they'll change their behavior, habits, and thinking to make each school year brighter than the last. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, principals, school bus drivers, mentors, and tutors need to take the pledge, too. In fact, anyone who cares about a child in school should renovate, revamp, and revise their thinking at the start of every school year. All it takes is a brave heart and an open mind.

The following suggestions help adults and kids of all ages make every school year better, and healthier.

Twelve Adult Attitude and Action Adjustments

1. Be a teacher. If you are involved in any way in Alex's and Ollie's growing up, you are a teacher to them whether you've had formal training or not. Be proud of it. And stay with it until they are at least forty years old. Caring, conscientious, and ever-teaching adults are the most powerful change-makers in a kid's life.

2. Be the boss. You can be a friend and still be a kind source of authority to Alex and Ollie. Boundaries are benign parameters that make kids feel safe and secure to do the difficult growing they all have to do. Don't be afraid to set limits, stick to them, and smile. Whining, pleading, and negotiating with kids undermine your role and cause them to lose respect for you. Be as good as your word.

3. Be a caped crusader. Be on the lookout for injustice, unkindness, prejudice, or poor manners that thread through the daily lives of you and your kids. Rectify what you can on the spot. At the very least, discuss incidents later in private, but don't give wrongheaded ideas – like ignoring someone who obviously needs help – a chance to grow in Alex and Ollie.

4. Give yourself a time-out. Borrow this age-old disciplinary method and use it to give yourself a breather when life with kids puts a strain on your good nature. It can be as simple as closing the bathroom door and taking ten deep breaths or making a show of leaving the room when behavior or noise becomes more than any self-respecting adult should have to bear. You deserve a break every day.

5. Learn how to calm yourself. Continue that deep breathing; take martial arts, yoga, exercise classes, or long walks. There's a lot to be gained by finding your center point and learning to stay there. Practicing your methods in front of your kids every day teaches them that knowing how to calm yourself is critical to living healthfully and successfully in the world.

6. Be mannerly. Simple good manners aren't simple at all but powerful lessons that reinforce for kids the importance of human kindness and consideration. Hold the door open for the people behind you, listen more, don't interrupt others, and write thank-you notes. By your example and your instruction, you'll teach Alex and Ollie to do it, too.

7. Leave neatness trails. Even if you never considered yourself a neat or organized person, pick up after yourself when a kid is near or watching. This could form a good habit. Leaving a clear, clean space behind you demonstrates thoughtfulness, reinforces order, and models efficiency. Kids need all those things for daily living and for facing the constant challenges of school.

8. Be a stuff editor. Don't let miniature plastic bear collections, magazines, newspapers, old clothes, plastic containers, books, or assorted stuff take over your life. Sort, discard, or donate your excess items regularly. Set aside special times, seasonally, to keep stuff from distracting and disrupting your life and the lives of the kids you love. The lesson is, don't let your possessions own you.

9. Speak a foreign language. Research shows that all language skills improve when kids under ten years old become familiar with a language other than their own. So do not stop speaking your native language or an adopted second language just because Alex and Ollie attend English-speaking schools. Learn and speak and give them directions in a new foreign language. Venga!

10. Be a storyteller. Tell stories or jokes about yourself as a kid, about your grandmother, or about the lady in the supermarket today who surfed fifteen feet on squashed grapes and came to a safe stop in the arms of the produce manager. Spontaneous oral presentations highlight the rhythm and beat of language, make vocabulary come alive, reveal the theater in daily life, and fire the imagination – all of which translate directly to Alex and Ollie's reading and writing skills.

11. Think out loud. Talking out loud as you ponder a new problem provides a timesaving and simple way to teach Alex and Ollie how to analyze a challenge, consider alternatives, select a course of action, and solve the problem at hand. Do this for your own problems and offer your out loud strategies whenever thorny issues face them. If not for you, how many opportunities will they have to witness the inner thinking of an adult, especially of an adult that you want them to emulate?

12. Raise the bar. If you challenge yourself, it's easier to challenge Alex. Tell him, for example, that this year you're keeping the same study hours he does so that you can learn Italian. Ramp up his Spanish grade by offering to test him on his verbs if he'll test you on yours. Next year, try Chinese.

What kids can doEighteen Adjustments to Make with Kids

1. Seek better, not redundant, school supplies. Rather than stocking up on more of the same markers, pens, and pencils, each year consider "therapeutic" or more "ergonomic" school supplies. Is there a chair, table, lamp, pencil, or other kind of backpack that has a more efficient and comfortable design? Buy brighter lights for Ollie's desk or a slant board to ease Alex's eyes during reading. If Alex's handwriting, as he approaches fourth grade, still looks like something the cat ate yesterday, get him a mechanical pencil to force a lighter touch. Think smart tools.

2. Keep a log. If your child has academic, behavioral, or social problems throughout the school year, document them. Note test grades, especially. To avoid unnecessary paperwork, use your personal appointment book to record events as they occur. Running commentary has three benefits: It reveals behavior patterns and might reveal a link to something as unexpected as a lack of sunshine. It charts the course of and often reveals reasons for an academic shift. It provides invaluable documentation for teacher, counselor, therapist, or physician conferences. Refer to notes in last year's appointment book to anticipate the timing of recurrent challenges in the coming year. This practice helps you to be proactive, right on schedule.

3. Make predictions and set goals. When Alex can forecast future action logically, it means he can recall details, select key ideas, and sort them in a reasonable order. Forecasting is not only essential to planning, but it is also an important comprehension and note-taking skill, so use it regularly when you and Alex strategize about the new school year. If he thinks math will be a breeze this year, ask him why. Is it because he finally got a calculator that will allow him to download data in class and graph it later at home? Ask him to make forecasts about academic subjects, extracurricular activities, and social events. Jot his predictions in your appointment book, then critique and revise them together in January and June.

4. Plan like corporations do. Decide which areas need focus and discuss measurable ways to achieve goals. For example, have Ollie work with an English tutor for six weeks, and then evaluate his progress. Action steps and time frames allow kids and parents and major corporations to compare actual, measurable outcomes to planned ones and then revise future plans more realistically. Give Ollie his own erasable wall calendar to track his progress through his designated activities, time frames, reviews, and to set new goals.

5. Set a study time and nail it down. Establish study time for kids, no matter their ages. Elementary-aged kids typically need 30-60 minutes per night. Middle schoolers need 60-90 minutes, and high school students, two hours. Demonstrate that study hours are a priority by maintaining them despite thunderstorms, babysitters, and unexpected guests. Enlist the support of other family members, too.

6. Stake it out. Together, pick a study spot that's all Alex's own, even if it's a corner of the dining-room table. Kids in primary grades like visible access or shouting distance to parents, so pick a nearby spot for studying your Italian. Though older kids often prefer a secluded space for doing homework, their computers should be located in a quiet but common area to allow for regular parental monitoring. Don't be shy about dropping by for a look.

7. Be a homework detective. Being a homework detective means knowing what is required of Alex each day. This puts you in an excellent position to evaluate his planning, organizational skills, and study habits, Teacher monitoring and intervention during the elementary school years helps most kids maintain a productive organizational structure. However, because the changing cast of teachers and increased demands of middle and high school can disrupt the study methods of even the best students, you'll need to stay vigilant for clues during those years, too.

8. Don't help if they don't need it. Unnecessary aid creates dependency and stifles a sense of responsibility for their own work. Ask for a short demonstration to gauge Ollie's ability before you slide up a chair and hunker down. Play dumb like a fox and watch instead. If Ollie can maintain a productive pace for even as short a period as five minutes, he is demonstrating confidence, so go off and study your Italian. Don't succumb to the temptation of doing Ollie's work for him. You've already been in elementary school.

9. Monitor understanding. If Ollie has a problem with a concept covered in a homework assignment, this often becomes evident in the first five minutes, too. If you try teaching it yourself, you will likely be challenged by the words, "that's not the way we learned it in school." Avoid adding confusion to the homework equation by immediately writing a note or sending an e-mail to the teacher. Do this whether Ollie is in elementary, middle, or high school. Ask the teacher to review the concept with him and give him a second chance to complete the assignment. Most teachers will be happy to oblige, as long as it doesn't happen too often.

10. Watch for three strikes. If difficulty with a concept or in a certain subject occurs during three homework sessions in a row, this might signal a misfit of task and skill or merely a lack of listening in class. This is the right time to conference by e-mail, phone, or visit with the teacher.

11. Don't let problems persist. Don't let problems drag on from one year to the next. Don't forget that sometimes even the biggest problems have simple solutions. Look for them first. Each year, take stock of recurrent issues before school starts and again in the middle of each quarter.

    • In elementary school: Focus on persistent problems in phonics, spelling, reading, and handwriting, which along with math are the core skills of the early grades. Track Alex's progress by tuning in to some common, everyday activities. Listen to how he reads cereal boxes, relates stories, writes thank-you notes, or divides up grapes for a snack to share with his sister and his best friend. Is he still miscalling the short e sound? Or is he having comprehension problems because he still doesn't stop at periods when he reads? Does he have trouble dividing by three? Inform his teacher of persistent patterns by note or e mail before school starts. Then follow it up with a phone call or schedule a conference. Ask for suggestions for helping him at home. Consider giving them both a hand and getting him a private tutor. Core skill problems unresolved in the early grades drag like a ball and chain straight through high school.

    • In middle school: Focus on friends because they matter most to those delightful but hormone-hammered kids in grades six through eight. When friendships and social situations are calm, middle schoolers turn their heads toward academics. Make lists of social conquests last year and establish a four-week strategy for handling back-to-school friendship flare-ups. Don't bother building long-term plans; short-term strategies are better suited to the constantly changing friendships and social upheavals that characterize middle school.

    • In high school: Keep coursework balanced and matched to his capacity. While satisfying their requirements for graduation, don't let kids enroll in so many difficult courses in one semester as to imperil grades and increase stress to unhealthy levels. Encourage inconsistent achievers to take the hardest courses in summer school. If physics is on the schedule this year, choose an elective that provides a hands-on creative outlet, like pottery. Help Alex choose courses all through high school that keep both sides of his brain stimulated and satisfied. Give him chances to demonstrate his broad-range talents, and open the door to new career options or academic interests.

12. Constantly consider new alternatives. When kids have personal or academic problems, always keep your eyes and ears open for new solutions. Use quilting to teach geometry, for example. Or for a change of perspective and fresh ideas, look to cultures other than your own. Check out people like Michio Kushi, an expert in the Japanese macrobiotic diet, for some startling ideas about how to raise calm and healthy kids.

13. Teach kids to be diet detectives. Draw Ollie's attention to the fact that he runs up the wall and across the ceiling every time he eats too much chocolate. Then show him, with a simple elimination diet, how to detect and then avoid food culprits that could be contributing to his inability to focus, hyperactivity, or allergies.

14. Put the computer in a central location. If Ollie is prone to nonproductive online chatting and distracting Internet browsing during homework times, don't put the computer in Ollie's room, especially if he's in middle or high school. Place it in the family room or in a large hallway where you can just happen by, regularly. Though there might be opposition to this proposition, know that it unequivocally puts you in the best position to derail potentially dangerous online or game-playing habits and helps Ollie use the computer more productively.

15. Use TV as a learning tool. For kids of all ages, limit TV-viewing time during the school week to one favorite show per night, and then use it as a tool to improve reading and writing skills. During commercials, talk about plots and characters. Play thickheaded about details or the sequence of events. Ask Alex to predict how the story will end. To improve his persuasive writing skills, watch a home-shopping show together, and analyze the methods they use to sell cheesy watches or tacky shoes.

16. Read every day. Add 15-30 minutes for reading to nightly study hours and weekends. If reading is a sore spot, don't hesitate to offer to partner read. This means taking turns reading alternate pages, paragraphs, or sentences. Don't let beginning or reluctant readers struggle with words. Tell Alex the word and get on with the reading. Make notes for his teacher about repeated phonics, pronunciation, or pacing problems. Watch middle school kids' comprehension problems or difficulty focusing on the page, tracking a line of words, or sweeping their eyes across a line of words. If Alex is in high school, read to him from a book or the newspaper while he's lounging on the sofa or eating breakfast. Keep the daily habit of reading before his eyes and in his ears, no matter his age.

17. Don't be a stranger. Become a familiar face at school, even if Ollie is in middle or high school. At the elementary level, volunteer your talents at least once a month in the classroom, such as chaperoning trips or painting the scenery for the class play. In middle and high school, become a part of the parents' organization, or offer to chaperone school trips or dances. Offer to demonstrate your skills when kids are studying career options. Help the newspaper staff by giving interviews or providing experts for news articles. Find creative ways to become a familiar face at school. If you can't come by, then call more often. Building a good relationship with students, teachers, and staff on a good day puts you in a much better position when Ollie has a bad one.

18. Teach kids to take risks. This does not mean doing things that will endanger health or safety. This means encouraging Alex and Ollie to step out of comfortable old habits and move into new adventures. Whether it's trying a mechanical pencil or experiencing life without chocolate or taking on a new school project, carefully guided forays into the unknown expand the mind, amass knowledge, and raise self-confidence levels, something all kids and adults need. Kids are willing to take on more challenges if they have the freedom to fail as well as the opportunity to succeed. Given a safe, supportive environment, Alex and Ollie will learn that defying their own limitations is an exhilarating and rewarding thing.

Staying healthyKeeping Kids Healthy during the School Year
Another sure-fire way to make the school year better is to teach Alex and Ollie how to battle with germs, not with each other. The following bacteria-fighting tips particularly help primary graders understand how infection spreads and provide some simple but effective ways to avoid becoming sick. They will make the whole family feel better.

A Germ-Revealing Activity

• Show Junior that germs are spread by touching. Hand-to-nose transfer is the most common way to get a cold. To bring the lesson home in a real and visual way, you will need a small amount of flour poured into a plastic bag and some old magazines. This makes a minor mess, so do it in the kitchen, wearing old clothes. Have Junior wet his hands, then dip them lightly in the flour. Dip yours, too. Next, purposely ignoring your flour-coated hands, open the magazines and find advertisements for cold, flu, and pain medication. Discuss typical symptoms like fever, shivering, aches, coughs, and sneezing. Now reveal the flour mystery – tell him that the flour on his hands represents germs. Track where the flour has spread. Is any on his nose, mouth, or ears? Or on yours? Talk about how it got there and what would happen if the flour were really germs and he put his hands in his mouth.

• Show Junior how to wash germs away. Rhinovirus, the nasty culprit that causes the common cold, can survive for hours on objects and surfaces like pencils, books, tables, and playground equipment, so teach Junior to wash his hands often throughout his day. While your hands are still covered with flour from the above activity, spray them with cooking oil spray. Then move over to the sink together and wash your hands. Count aloud to time how long it takes to get all the flour and oil off your hands. (It should ideally take a count of 15-20.) Remind him to wash his cuticles and the backs of his hands. Tell Junior that since real germs hang tough on the hands, too, he should use the same count to kill them whenever he washes his hands at home, school, the movies, a restaurant, or a friend's house.

• Show Junior that germs are spread by coughing and sneezing. You will need a spray bottle with a strong spray and some black construction paper. Tell him how fast germs spread – sneezes travel at 75-100 miles per hour and coughs at 300 miles per hour! Then demonstrate. Fill a bottle with water (the "germs"), and have Junior hold it next to his mouth, nozzle pointing forward, away from his head. Now, hold up a piece of construction paper about six inches from the spray bottle, and have Junior spray water onto the paper. Are there any "germs" on the paper? Step backwards at one foot intervals to gauge the power of each spray. Ask Junior what would happen if the water were really germs and the paper your face. What might happen if you swallowed some? Review how touching, coughing, and sneezing spread germs that make people sick.

Germ-Halting Tips For Primary Graders

• Show Junior how to catch the culprits. Show Junior how to use his elbow to catch his cough or sneeze if a tissue is nowhere to be found. Since he can't easily touch anyone with his elbow, he's less likely to spread germs.

• Show Junior the bathroom is not a playground. Teach him that this is a place for important, private business. Show him how to properly and hygienically use urinals and toilets. And how to wash hands and properly dispose of towels at the end of every trip to a rest room.

• Show Junior how to touch and go. Encourage Junior to use his knuckle or his elbow to press an elevator button or the push bar on a door. Or use his hip, his bottom, or his sneaker, especially when he's just spent twenty seconds washing the germs off his hands.

• Show consideration for others. Out of respect for his teachers, tutors, and classmates, keep Junior at home when he has a cold or other upper respiratory or sinus infection that causes excessive coughing, sneezing, or dripping. When he is well enough to go back to school, place small tissue packets and disposable wipes in his pockets, lunch box, and backpack, and remind him to keep his hands to himself.