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How to Motivate an Underachiever

The situation

How to Motivate an Underachiever

Dino's been on the sofa so long he'll need surgery to have it removed. He's convinced that no matter how much homework, studying, or paying attention in class he does, he won't get good grades. He thinks that lucky thing happens only if the teacher is in a good mood.

Unfortunately, Dino is no longer your ever-enthusiastic and constantly curious preschooler. He lives in Hormone City now. Unlike blemishes and a squeaking voice, however, underachievement is not something he will outgrow. Don't doubt yourself when you first start questioning whether Dino is an underachiever. If you're questioning, it's probably because he's displaying some worrisome signs.

Michele J. Sabino, who teaches a freshman remedial English class at the University of Houston Downtown, believes that "a lack of motivation is typical of kids who push buttons and have images instantly flashed back at them on a screen." Though there is no consensus about the cause or causes for low motivation and underachievement, certain factors and behaviors in combination contribute to Dino's lack of achievement.

If too many factors in the box below describe your middle schooler's life, or these behaviors have persisted through one marking period, your sofa-bound Dino is probably headed straight down the underachieving track.

Symptoms and CausesFactors and Behaviors Commonly Associated With Underachievers
Commonly associated behaviors
Has his social circle outside school
Seeks out low-achieving comrades
Disparages the value of school, teachers, and goals
Adopts alienated fashions, mannerisms, language, and demeanor
Has low self-esteem
Has a learning delay
Feels he has low academic ability
Is easily bored or distracted
Is hypersensitive and critical
Has low or nonexistent motivation and effort
Dislikes book-work or academic challenges
Dislikes structured activities and timed exercises
Forgets, misplaces, or loses textbooks or assignments
Organizes poorly time and materials
Has poor self-management skills
Has a learning style that does not match the teaching style
Is disruptive in class
Possesses poor test-taking and study skills
Gets low or failing grades
Thinks good grades are the result of luck or favoritism
Takes on limited extracurricular school activities

School factors
Morale of student population is low
Teacher/student relationships are poor or ineffective

Contributing factorsContributing Factors
What is getting Dino down? The following ideas elaborate on some critical elements that might be contributing to a low-achieving cycle. Each contains suggestions to implement if you think they apply to your middle schooler.

Health and Developmental Causes
Certainly, hammering hormones add moodiness, irritability, and resentment to Dino's hair-flattening sofa experience. But it might be more. Check out the most obvious thing first, his physical condition. Investigate whether food or environmental allergies, sensory integration dysfunction, or hormonal or metabolism changes might be making him less productive. Take him to a trusted health care professional for a complete physical evaluation. Do not, however, spend any precious time searching for a magic potion. Nobody has bottled motivation yet.

Poor Self-Image
With health concerns eliminated or under control, check his school environment next. Maybe it's a self-image problem that's got Dino stuck. Has anything uncomfortable happened in school recently? Did he, perish the thought, wear the wrong kind of shirt to school? Middle schoolers think and function in a constantly comparative mode that few, other than cancer researchers, do with greater microscopic precision. Teasing, taunting, and bullying are common currency, and even popular and well-adjusted kids can be adversely affected by it.

Seeking Dino's input is a critical first step to understanding his lack of motivation. Find a subtle and gentle way to initiate a conversation. Use a third person, nonconfrontational opener like "I hear that some kids in your school are..." If that gets you exactly nowhere, try the direct approach like "I am ready to talk anytime about things that are going on with you in school." When that fails, too, turn to his friend who always tells you everything. If together you determine that Dino's lack of motivation and low achievement have their basis in his school environment, set a conference immediately with his school guidance counselor, his favorite or homeroom teacher, or the school principal. Don't let teasing, taunting, or bullying persist any longer than the first minute you hear about it.

Family-based problemsFamily-Based Problems
A lack of motivation and low achievement can also result from negative or stressful family dynamics. Is something going on at home that's stressful or abusive? Has there recently been a traumatic event, like a death, divorce, or move from a school he loved? These can negatively affect even middle schoolers with great fortitude.

With a middle schooler, however, family matters don't have to be drastic to cause a lack of motivation. It could be your attempts to inflate his ego by constantly praising, congratulating, thanking, or rewarding him for something he knows he should be doing anyway. No age group is more sensitive to misplaced flattery than ultrasensitive middle schoolers. Dino's sofa siege could be his reaction to your well-intended action.

Now is the time to swallow the patter. Be tactful, frank, and honest about his habits instead. Kids appreciate that kind of feedback and seek it consistently from loving and resourceful adults. It also eventually restores credibility to your words of praise.

If, however, you can't change your obsequious ways, it is time for a family-dynamic tune-up. Start with someone you trust who will give you an honest answer about whether your habits might be adversely affecting Dino. If he or she says, "Yes, indeed," ask for suggestions about how to improve your interaction, dialogue, and behavior.

Or turn to Dino's pediatrician, your faith counselor, his school counselor, or another parent. Consider family counseling with a licensed clinical social worker or psychologist. Note that if you seek the advice of a mental health professional, make sure he or she has deep experience with academically underachieving adolescents. Be specific about the situation. The more honest you are about Dino and your family dynamic, the more effective a therapist's help can be.

Learning problemsLearning Problems
Learning problems can also make Dino's achievement drag. Get to any root learning issues by talking first to his middle school teachers or school counselor. It could be a difficult subject, a specific academic challenge like a long-term project, or a personality clash with a teacher that's causing Dino's stall.

If you or his teacher suspect a learning delay, take him to an educational diagnostician or licensed psychologist for cognitive and achievement tests, especially if he's never had one or the last one was more than two years ago. The Woodcock-Johnson Psychoeducational Battery is an example of one such test. Combined with family and individual interviews, such tests yield a comprehensive picture of current academic and processing skills and give an indication of future performance. Finding out what Dino is truly capable of is a comfort if he has been boring a hole through the sofa with his head. The counselor will also make specific recommendations for getting him on the move again. Remember that if his public school agrees to conduct a psychoeducational test, there is no cost to you. Consult his middle school guidance counselor for eligibility and guidelines in your school district.

Teacher sensitivityTeacher Sensitivity
If Dino is underachieving, it might be because he is a teacher-sensitive learner. Some kids get good grades even if their teacher has one eye, spits when he talks, and rides a red wagon. For some kids, however, there is a direct correlation between their feelings about the person standing in front of that classroom and the grade they get in that subject.

Though with middle schoolers every teacher will be a one-eyed monster at one time or another, listen closely to the nature of Dino's remarks. If you're hearing a negative theme repeated over a period of weeks, or if it seems, even to you, that he's being singled out or reprimanded unfairly, make a conference with that teacher and bring Dino. As you sit face to face with his teacher, listen first to the other side of the story, and then be forthcoming about Dino's role in the current dynamic. Strategize ways to refresh the relationship. Set a conference date for two weeks later and reassess their progress.

Periodic clashes between teachers and kids can put a hitch in the achievement flow even if a kid is not the teacher-sensitive type. If you are aware, or Dino makes you aware, that an uncharacteristic personality tangle is contributing to underachievement, set a conference but don't bring Dino. Sit down, look the teacher in the eyes, and say, in your gentlest voice, "Look, I know you're having a problem with my kid right now. Sometimes I have a problem with him, too. How can we work through this together?" This is an icebreaker better than any axe. With honesty and openness paving the way, you can swap comradely war stories and strategize ways to pry Dino off the sofa. You've also just gained an important ally at school.

Tips for rousing underachieversTips for Rousing Underachievers
Whether you are involved in activities with Dino in the classroom, on the soccer field, or beside him on the sofa in the living room, employing some of the following ideas will stoke unmotivated middle school students to learn again:

Don't wait another minute to act. If you let his lack of motivation last one marking period, you can bet his grades won't reflect his potential when his report card arrives. Because you are an important adult in his life, you are also a powerful change bringer. Having the gumption to change what you do and say and how you instruct Dino in your own home is the first, critical step toward helping Dino find and maintain his most productive mode of learning. Be kind, be honest, but be the boss.

Give him some face time. Personal attention is an honestly flattering thing that even the most dubious middle schoolers take as a compliment. Carve time out of your own schedule and give it to him, one to one. Do this every day, especially when he's sofa-suffering. But do not fawn.

Do something different. To shock him out of the doldrums, do something out of character like standing on your head. Or if you've never done it before, sit down next to him on the sofa and play a video game together or watch his favorite blood-and-guts movie. Comment on his video playing technique or his analysis of the villain's cruel intentions. Do not inflate his skills; instead be on the alert for comments that provide a natural transition to a suspected trouble spot in his life, and then jump on it. If you can move your conversation to the kitchen to make dinner or out to the car to pick up the pizza, you've broken the momentum of that day's downward spiral. This is the middle school version of what you did with a cookie when he was two.

Use one success to build on the next. When he's procrastinating about reading his book report book, remind him that the fast reflexes and good eye-hand coordination he displayed while playing video games means he must have excellent predicting skills when he reads. Tell him you have time right now for a little demonstration.

Invite his friend over to study. If Dino does not want you to explain his homework or help him study for a test, he might allow his friend to do it. And if it happens to be your favorite friendly informant, be sure to snatch an update about that teasing situation at school.

Make your house like a classroom. Show Dino that his problem is your problem, too, by doing things that can turn a one-eyed monster into a favorite teacher. Give him a second chance to prove himself when his first attempt is a miss or a dismal failure. Use his mistakes as a window of opportunity to teach him something new. And when you finally get him off the couch and on his homework, be a good homework detective.

Life can be difficult when you're a kid, and most adults would agree that they were fortunate to have survived their tumultuous adolescent years with so few psychological scars. It would be a disservice to you and Dino to oversimplify the causes and the remedies for his lack of motivation. But do something about it and do it on all fronts. Do not let your paralysis in dealing with Dino become an example for dealing with his own issues. Sometimes all it takes is a few well-placed nudges to loosen a kid like Dino from the couch for good.