Dyslexia and Your Child
The Preschooler Dyslexia and Your Child When dyslexia runs in the family, parents sometimes wonder if they can detect signs of it in their preschool children. Experts say that's much too soon to label a child, and veteran moms and dads agree: at this stage, it's a dangerous game to attempt to distinguish between what's a genuine neurological problem or a maturational lag. Nevertheless, if your preschool child is easily distracted by too much noise or movement, doesn't seem to hear rhyming patterns, or has trouble following simple instructions, you can make life easier in a number of ways. Most small children have trouble dealing with an avalanche of words, so when you're talking to your preschooler, make eye contact and speak slowly. Your child may need extra time to hear, understand, integrate, and remember. In a preschooler's world, routine and structure underlie everything. The predictable is precious, whether it's the same placemat on the table every day or those two favorite stories before bedtime. Likewise, there's enormous security in knowing where possessions are kept, understanding how to put them away, and being able to retrieve them later on. Does your preschooler become agitated or anxious in large groups? If so, limit the number of playmates to one or two at a time, and be available to help negotiate any rough patches. "Alex is thrown for a loop at birthday parties, so I try to prepare him in advance," says one mother. "Before we leave the house, we talk about what to expect -- noise, balloons, games -- and then we talk about it some more afterwards." If your child has trouble understanding spatial relationships (up and down, in and out), help him get more comfortable with simple everyday tasks and games: "Take the blocks out of the toy box. Put Teddy on the bed. Hide the book behind the doll. Tiptoe around the coffee table." Kids with dyslexia often have problems making the link between the abstract and the concrete. You can help create that link early on by chatting about what you're doing as you do it. "I'm putting my card in the ATM machine to get money for our groceries." This can reinforce your child's ability to link words to experiences and, ultimately, to the words used to describe pictures in books. The Grade-SchoolerIs my child dyslexic or simply immature? The moment you suspect a problem, it's a good idea to consult a pediatrician or a pediatric neurologist. For kids who are consistently disorganized and distractible or have serious difficulty with letters and words, early intervention can head off a lot of frustration and discouragement. Ever ask your child to do something, only to find that by the time the words have left your mouth, she can't remember a single thing you've said? Kids who don't process information well are stymied when a barrage of instructions are bundled into one sentence. It helps to break directions down into small bites and wait till your child has completed one task before moving on to the next. When kids have difficulty understanding spatial relationships or following directions, parents have plenty of opportunities to help. Just make it part of the daily routine: "Take the spoons out of the drawer. Help me hide this present under the bed. Put the cheese doodles into the bowl. Let's tickle Dad's left foot." "Why are you crying? We'll be there in five minutes!" You're trying to reassure the restless beast in the back seat, but she seems to have no concept of time. Help her "see" by giving her an egg timer and setting it for five minutes. Or let her play around with a minute hourglass. When the sand has trickled from top to bottom, show her what one minute means on the face of a clock. Dyslexic learners need concrete examples. By second or third grade, most kids can name the months and the seasons of the year. If your child's comprehension is still a little fuzzy, get out the art supplies and let her make her own calendar. Explain what makes one season different from another, then have her cut out illustrations from magazines that show spring, summer, fall, and winter. She can also find pictures of holidays and put them where they belong on the calendar. Many dyslexics have trouble reading emotions and body language. They can't tell when a friend is upset or when a teacher is exasperated, and the social ramifications can be devastating. You can help your child with a little role playing. As you read aloud, ask him to act out how a character in the story might look. Or make your own facial expressions and body movements and ask him to figure out whether they indicate anger, sadness, happiness, or confusion. Keep it light and make it a game. The Middle-Schooler By the time middle school rolls around, most dyslexic students understand they're different from the rest of the pack. Many become anxious or defensive and their self-esteem can plummet. Now's the time for parents to provide those extra hugs and words of praise for things well done -- children are always more successful when they feel competent and beloved. "Where's my bookbag!" "I missed the bus!" If this sounds like your middle-schooler, you can help him get his act together. Put a chalkboard in his room with a detailed checklist to help him get out the door, on time, with all his stuff. Some kids need a routine spelled out for them, step by step. Organization and follow-through are even more important in middle-school academics. You can show your child how to break down a homework assignment into manageable bites, completing one piece before tackling another. If she has trouble concentrating for long stretches, get her in the habit of taking a mini-recess every so often. Twelve-year-old Marla runs outside and shoots a few baskets "to clear my head." Kids with dyslexia often do poorly on written tests and are prone to anxiety and gloom as the awful day approaches. To help ease those jitters, one father gives his son five or ten-minute practice tests at home. "We circle the mistakes and then go back to the book to find out what Jed missed. He's great at verbalizing, so he usually explains the answers to me without any problem. It's a good way to build confidence." Does your child still mix up left and right? Lisa's mother uses their shared time in the car to help her daughter: "Hmm, is the drugstore on the left or the right side of the street?" "Which way do we turn for the movie theater?" Later on when Lisa's learning to drive, she'll be ahead of the game. "One of the biggest problems for the dyslexic" says one expert, "is that he may never have the opportunity to discover his strengths because his mistakes get in the way." Try to brighten the picture by talking (and laughing) about your own mistakes, explaining what you learned from them, and reminding your child of all the wonderful accomplishments he's achieved so far. The High-SchoolerBy the time students reach high school, many have managed to camouflage their dyslexia with well-developed strategies or deceptions that cover up academic lapses. Others continue to have problems and may suffer from low self-esteem or depression. And since distractibility, dreaminess, and lack of motivation are age-typical behaviors, it's not always easy to separate real learning problems from adolescent angst. Hats off to teens who are self-possessed enough to talk to their teachers about their learning problems. "It's not always easy to speak up for yourself," says Katie, "but it can pay off. And it's not just about getting extra help or taking an untimed test. Sometimes I just need the teacher's OK to take a break, get away from my desk and walk around the room before I get back to work." As academic demands increase, dyslexic teens can find themselves increasingly overwhelmed by information overload. For some, taking a tape recorder to class can be a lifesaver -- they can focus on one or two elements without having a meltdown over missing something. "It's fine with me if a machine ingests the information," says one teacher. "As long as the student digests it later on." Parents of high-schoolers still need to go to bat for their kids. If your child is visibly struggling month after month, arrange a conference with his advisor and talk about your concerns. "No matter how hard Andrew worked, he got D's in Spanish," recalls one couple. "Midway through the year, we decided to talk to his teachers. That led to a professional evaluation by a L.D. specialist, who helped us get a waiver for the foreign language requirement. Thank goodness we intervened." Learning to drive an automobile introduces a new dimension for teens who have problems with spatial relationships or following directions. A mother in Raleigh, North Carolina anticipated the upcoming challenge by giving her son a map of the city and teaching him how to figure out the different bus routes. "It gave him practice -- and confidence -- getting from one end of town to the other," she says, "and it's one less thing to worry about now that he's behind the wheel." Dyslexia's a drag at any age, but a self-conscious teenager is likely to feel especially stigmatized and demoralized. You can help lighten the burden by giving your child plenty of opportunities to shine in other areas. Whether it's rollerblading, painting, the swim team, or a rock band, encourage your teen to push the envelope a little and explore other inclinations and challenges. After all, dyslexia's only part of the picture... it shouldn't define -- or confine -- anyone's life.
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