How to Answer Children's Questions When Someone Gets Hurt

No matter how much parents attempt to protect their children from harm, events such as natural disasters, domestic violence and terrorism, inevitably take place. When your children see others get hurt on television or in person at school, you can gently guide them through their fears and questions. Children need help dealing with the emotional stress and confusion that can come with knowing others are hurt.

Instructions

    • 1

      Identify concerning symptoms in your child when he views disturbing events like severe weather or acts of violence. Note that he may think an event is happening again if he sees it on the news multiple times. Realize that preschool-age children may not know how to formulate questions, but can act out by having problems sleeping, complain of pain or simply behaving differently. Watch school-age children and teenagers for withdrawal, poor performance in school or non-specific aches and pains.

    • 2

      Choose words that your child can understand when you answer her questions. Explain the event that happened that caused someone to get hurt in an age-appropriate manner. For example, say to younger children, "A man hurt that lady because he was very angry" or "The tornado was a big surprise and the family did not have time to get to safety." Talk about the emotions that you are experiencing about the misfortune to help put her feelings into words. Remember that your child will often react according to how you handle the situation.

    • 3

      Remain approachable for your child to ask you as many questions as he likes. Be willing to repeat your answers to offer assurance, comfort and explanation. Say, "Remember when I explained yesterday that hurricanes do not come to our house? They only go to the beach, and not very often." Realize that children may think differently about an injury than you. Tell your child, "Just because that boy got hurt like that does not mean it will happen to you." Listen attentively to your child and help create a calm and safe environment while you talk together.

    • 4

      Avoid sugar-coating what happened when someone was hurt and give simple facts to avoid rumors and misunderstandings. Discuss who is responsible for the injury while explaining that not all people from that specific background will act that way. Say, for example, "Not all people from the Middle East want to attack the United States. There are kids there just like you who have families and go to school." For natural disasters, talk about how the community and government can help injured and displaced people get back on their feet.

    • 5

      Admit to your child that you may not be able to answer all of her questions. Be willing to look up information that is appropriate if it will help your child feel better. Refrain from giving more information than she can emotionally handle. Allow her to lead the conversation and remember that her small-world perspective is different from yours.

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