How to Get Stuff From Parents

You want something, but your mother won't let you have it. You've asked and she said you don't "need" it. However, there are things you can do to get what you want. There's a fine art to effectively manipulating your parents. It takes some discipline and time to learn how to master it, but once you do it, your life gets so much easier.

Instructions

    • 1

      Discover their weaknesses. There are a number of tools available for manipulating your parents, but the most effective are the ones that prey on them because they're scared. "I'm going out, but I don't need any money. We're going to go jump off the railroad bridge into the lake" is a good start for parents worried about your physical safety. If they're worried about your grades, say, "I'm just struggling so hard in class without having a laptop to take notes. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up without it."

    • 2

      Make a deal. Good deals give your parents something they really want in exchange for something you really want. If your parents don't want you to go out, tell them that a new video game system keeps you at home. When they say you have to go to bed, point out that music helps you fall asleep and you need a new mp3 player.

    • 3

      Draw comparisons between them and you. If they say no to a new television, remind them how only a week ago, they bought a new mixer for Mom or a new digital camera for Dad.

    • 4

      Wish out loud for something worse or point out a less desirable alternative. A new mountain bike doesn't seem as bad once you tell them you want motorcycle. Getting you a car makes much more sense if the alternative means you ride with someone they hate.

    • 5

      Encourage their desires for the upgraded version so they'll give you the one they already have. To get their old car, you might say, "So, I was thinking we should stop at the dealership on the way home and test drive that car you love." To make sure their computer becomes your, tell them, "But you need a new computer because it would be so much faster, and the old one is just fine for me."

    • 6

      Point out that your well being is at stake. A casual drop in your conversation like, "I could use a little money. Well, it's no big deal, but my electricity will probably get shut off." Avoid mentioning that you spent the money for that bill on a weekend in Reno. If you can't get around telling them, be sure to point out that it was a huge mistake and you could really use some help getting out of this jam. This is an advanced technique and takes some self-control, but well executed gets you anything you want.

    • 7

      Offer to earn it. Use this as a last resort for the parents who are simply too rational, aware of their own failings and don't mind a little tough love. Set distinct terms on this contract or they can manipulate you into their own personal slave.

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