How to Make Your Child Stop Hitting Other Kids

Expressing you feelings is fine, but it is never acceptable to hurt someone, and a line needs to be drawn when your child is hitting you or other children. It is a difficult problem to deal with and behavior is mostly learned. Yet, some toddlers hit other children despite growing up in an environment where violent behavior is not modeled. In an article in Babycenter, child psychologist Penelope Leach, author of several books on child behavior, says it is vital that your child understands that it is not her anger that you do not accept, instead it is how she expresses her anger.

Instructions

    • 1

      Identify situations where your child is likely to hit and supervise her in those situations. Talk to her before you go into a playground. Say that you want her to share toys. Tell older children what sort of behavior you expect, such as sharing toys and being a friend who acts in a calm way.

    • 2

      Help him to use words when he is playing with other children. Gently intervene and ask your child what he wants. Prompt your child if necessary and reward your child for his positive behavior.

    • 3

      Prevent the hitting by gently stepping in. If you stay close and see her approaching another child with a raised hand, it may be possible to prevent the hit by offering an alternative.

    • 4

      Model calm behavior if you interact and prevent your child from hitting another child. A rough interaction will send mixed message to your child. Use your voice and firmly say "No."

    • 5

      Pick her up and ask her quietly "What do you need?" Tell your child to use words when she wants something. Ask her to say "Toy, please" or "Want it." Alternatively, use your understanding about what your child might want to do and redirect the attention by saying "Let's use this toy instead."

    • 6

      If your child hits another child, remove him. Take his hand and say "No, hitting hurts, we do not hit other kids."

    • 7

      Act in a calm manner and tell her that you know that she is angry. Tell her that it is not her anger that makes you upset, it is that she hit another child.

    • 8

      Listen to you child and help him say short phrases, such as, "so mad" or "no, no." Expressing his feelings is a way to help him resolve future conflicts.

    • 9

      Help your child to make up with the other child. Suggest that your child take the other child a toy or give him a a big smile.

    • 10

      Once you child is older, talk to him about his behavior and help him to express his feelings. Focus on rewarding positive behavior. Yet, send a calm but firm message that hitting other kids is unacceptable behavior.

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