What Can You Do About Dangerous or Hurtful Behavior in Children?

Media

• The American Psychological Association advises parents to do more than simply limit the amount of time their children are exposed to media violence and play video games. Children are less likely to show aggressive behaviors when parents do not allow them to play violent video games, the APA continues. In addition to monitoring the types of games their children play, parents may discuss with children how violence is not a good solution for most problems. Parents and children may come up with appropriate ways of handling adversity. By limiting and discussing children's exposure to media violence, parents help prevent harmful behavior in their children.

Attention

• Give children attention and praise for doing the right thing and, when possible, give them little to no attention for doing the wrong thing. Most children will naturally repeat behaviors that got them attention, whether the attention was positive or negative. Therefore, it is best to redirect or distract children when you anticipate harmful behavior. For example, if you see that two preschool-age children are about to start fighting over wooden blocks, pick up a puppet and suggest a puppet show. If just one or both of the children comes to play with puppets, you have successfully avoided harmful behavior.

Interference

• Sometimes an adult must interfere to prevent harm when children exhibit dangerous behavior. Novella Ruffin, an extension specialist at Virginia State University, advises parents and teachers to be assertive and quick when behavioral intervention is necessary. A young child may be removed and put on a short timeout during which he may be able to cool off. An older child may both be sent away from the situation and also have privileges temporarily revoked. In many cases, these consequences influence children to avoid the dangerous behavior in the future.

Modeling

• Children learn by what parents and teachers do, not what they say. In other words, if you hit your child as a punishment, she will learn that hitting is acceptable behavior. Sheena Carter, Ph.D. at the department of pediatrics, Emory School of Medicine, points out that physical punishment also carries the risk of harming the child and making her dislike and distrust the adult who does the punishing. Always model the behavior you want the children in your care to display.