How to Have Measurable Goals for Troubled Kids
A wise person once said, "You eat an elephant the same way you eat a cheeseburger: one bite at a time." If you're parenting or mentoring a troubled child, you already know it isn't easy. One skill that can help put both you and your child on the right track is learning how to help your child set measurable goals. By tackling problem areas with your child in measurable steps, you can eliminate problem attitudes and behaviors one bite at a time.
Instructions
Set SMART goals. "SMART" is a well-known acronym among goal setters of all types. It stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-sensitive. Basically, you want goals that your child will understand and can reasonably achieve. You also want goals that are clear enough that your child will know whether or not he has achieved them. Identify problem areas that you would like your child to work on. Chances are, you can come up with a significant list quickly. Seek your child's help to narrow the list down to three or four areas that he agrees are problem areas and that he is willing to work on. Setting goals for your child -- no matter how reasonable or measurable -- will do absolutely no good if your child doesn't buy into the goals. The best way to get a troubled kid on board with setting positive goals is to empower him to be part of the process. Negotiate one specific goal for each of the three to four problem areas your child has agreed to work on. If possible, let your child come up with the goal. Give input, but don't dictate. Let him have some ownership. Make sure that the goals are specific enough that you and your child can clearly answer the question, "Did you do this today?" at the end of the day. When setting goals, focus on things that your child has complete control over. For example, instead of setting a goal to raise his Math grade to a B, you could set a goal to complete all of his homework, and study for 15 minutes every day. Make a chart listing each goal and the days of the week. At the end of each day, discuss with your child whether or not he achieved each goal. If he did, write a check mark for that day beside the goal. If he did not, write a zero. Alternately, you can expand this and give two checks for "I did this consistently today"; one point for "I did this sometimes today"; and zero points for "I did not do this at all today." Use rewards and consequences to help motivate your child to work toward his goals. Allow your child some input into what these should be, as long as he is willing to take the process seriously. For most troubled kids, short-term goals and rewards are best and you will want to reward partial success. Ideally, you should have a small reward for meeting daily goals and a larger reward for meeting goals consistently over the course of the week. Consequences should generally be reserved for repeated failure to make an effort to achieve the goals set. As much as possible, focus on the successes. Set a regular appointment to reassess your child's goals. If your child is consistently hitting a goal, congratulate him on his success and suggest that he might want to add a new goal since he has already mastered the old one. If your child is consistently falling short, you may want to consider setting a smaller, more attainable goal or shelving that goal for a while in favor of another issue your child is willing to work on. The idea of measurable goal setting is to set your child up to succeed. Most troubled kids really enjoy that first taste of success and are willing to work to continue improving when they know their efforts are being recognized.
