How to Deal With 4-Year-Old Boys Hitting Girls

It's embarrassing when your child is the one hurting others, particularly when it seems as though your preschool-aged boy seems to target and bully his female peers. While it may seem worrisome, it's par for the course for aggressive preschoolers who haven't yet learned to express themselves verbally. Now is the perfect time to teach your little one that hitting is inappropriate and that using words and asking for adult intervention is a better way to deal.

Instructions

    • 1

      Stop the fight and remove your child from the altercation immediately. As soon as an argument or tiff becomes physical and one child begins hitting another, the perpetrator should be removed for a cool-off period. This serves a dual purpose -- it gives the preschoolers' tempers time to cool off, but also teaches your little boy that you do not tolerate physical violence and that he doesn't get to play if he hits.

    • 2

      Give the girl attention and concern, suggest experts with the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry. Your child may have used hitting as a way to get your attention, so it's important to show that when he hits someone, it's the victim who gets your time.

    • 3

      Empathize with your child, suggest Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting. Even preschoolers don't often hit when unprovoked. Chances are that the girl he hit made him upset in some way and physically hurting her was a way of retaliating. You can empathize with his anger and recognize the negative feelings so he feels validated, while reminding him that hitting is never an OK way to deal with anger.

    • 4

      Engage your child in cooperative play after a time out. It can be tough for preschoolers to learn to share a singular toy, so activities where it's necessary to have a playmate can be a better option to calm an angry child. Try inviting the hurt child to play a game of catch or Duck, Duck Goose to encourage both children to play together harmoniously.

    • 5

      Praise your child when you notice him playing nicely. Preschoolers thrive on positive feedback and attention, so hearing specific praise, like "Thank you for sharing with Sarah without fighting. I'm so proud of you!" can give your preschooler incentive to keep his hands to himself during playtime in the future.

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