Child Development Strategies for Regulating Impulse Control

Executive Functioning

• Parents can assist their child with impulse control by helping her with the development of her executive functioning skills, according to the advice of Dr. Becky Bailey, early childhood and developmental psychology expert, shared by Dr. Michelle Anthony, in her Scholastic.com article. These include the ability to plan, problem-solve and follow through completely on a task. Rather than reacting emotionally, your child's executive functioning skills will enable her to think and plan. Through a growing sense of control of her environment, and by strengthening these skills, she will become less emotionally reactive.

Model Appropriate Responses

• Your emotional responses, both positive and negative, will likely be mimicked by your child. When you are feeling angry and frustrated in front of your child, self-talk aloud so he can witness the appropriate emotional response. For example, if you drop the eggs as you are taking them out of the refrigerator to make breakfast, an appropriate response to model might be, "Shucks. I dropped the eggs. I was really looking forward to eating them. I'm going to count to ten while I calm down, then I'm going to clean up this mess and have a bowl of cereal instead." Over time, this may help him to develop his own self-talk, which will likely lead to increased impulse control.

Second Chances

• In a Huffington Post article, Susan Stiffelman, marriage and family therapist and author of, "Parenting without Power Struggles," attributed impulse control issues to your child appearing younger than she actually is because the ability to pause before she decides to act is underdeveloped. Physically impulsive behaviors can get in the way of her socializing with other children. To assist with this, Joyce Cooper-Kahn, Ph.D. and Laurie Dietzel, Ph.D., co-authors of "Late, Lost and Unprepared," made the suggestion of stopping your child's misbehavior, modeling the correct behavior and encouraging a "do-over." For example, if your child hit her friend because she knocked her block tower down, you can tell her it's never okay to hit over a toy but she can say she's mad and stomp her foot. Encourage her to do so; when your child calms down, have her tell you why she's angry.

Relaxation

• In her Family Education.com article, "Relaxation, Guided Imagery and Visualization," Sandra F. Rief, an author and speaker with a master's in general and special education, recommends teaching impulsive children relaxation skills to use especially when angry or frustrated. Deep breathing, relaxation and visualization exercises can help your child to better manage the planning and thinking part of his brain. Your child will have an additional resource to use whenever and wherever he needs it.