How to Handle It if You Do Not Want Your Kid Playing With a Neighbor
Having neighbors with kids, when you also do, can be a blessing or a curse -- sometimes both at once. It's great to have other kids of similar age in the neighborhood so yours can go out and have fun, play and ride bikes. But when the neighbor kids are considerably older, don't have the same rules your kids do or are out of control behavior-wise, it is often a challenge to keep your kids out of their orbit. You may have to resort to some creative parenting to keep your kids from playing with a problem neighbor child.
Instructions
Tell your child you don't want him to play with the neighbor boy. Be prepared to answer the inevitable "Why?" Keep your answers concise, nonjudgmental and age-appropriate. Explain that the neighbor boy is bigger and you don't want your son to get hurt or that the neighbor family has different rules than does your family when it comes to playing together nicely. Focus on the child's offending behaviors, rather than saying outright that you don't like the child. Gently guide your child toward more acceptable playmates or other activities that don't include contact with the undesirable neighbor child. Tell your child that he is not permitted to play at the neighbor's house, particularly if you are not comfortable with the family's lifestyle or lack of safety and behavior rules. Explain that you're not suggesting the family is bad or dangerous, but that you feel more comfortable when your child plays at home or occasionally at other friends' homes where the rules are more similar to yours. A house with no rules might be very alluring to your child, particularly if he's at an age where he's chafing under your rules, so your only choice may be to place this child's house off-limits. Allow your child to play with a group of kids, occasionally including the neighbor child, in your yard or your home, where you can keep a close eye on them. If problems arise or any of the other children is misbehaving or not adhering to your house rules, you are well within your rights to send the offending child home. If the playtime goes smoothly, you will have provided the opportunity for your child to play with the neighbor child, as well as others, which will prevent cries of "You never let me play with him." Make excuses when the neighbor knocks on the door wanting to play with your child. It might be homework or nap time, your child might have soccer or ballet practice that afternoon, or you all are planning some family time that evening. Hopefully, he will eventually get tired of being turned away. You can also just say "No." You're not required to give the child an explanation. Simply say, "No, Johnny can't play today," smile and close the door.
