Behavior Problems After the Death of Parents

The death of a parent is one of the most difficult experiences a child can go through. Children, particularly small children, often have a hard time accepting the reality of having lost a parent. Because of this, the loss of a parent can cause a child's behavior to change in drastic ways. Behavioral problems after the death of parents are usually passive rather than aggressive, but they can nonetheless still be very harmful to the child.

  1. Social Withdrawal

    • In addition to feeling hopeless and depressed, some children can feel socially isolated after the death of a parent. This can be attributed to other children not knowing what to say in front of the grieving child, a situation which can result in the child feeling like people are "not acting normal." The combined effect of being depressed and feeling socially isolated can lead some kids to avoid contact with their friends for a period of time. This type of behavior is most common among teenagers and preteens who experience the death of a parent.

    Self Harm and Suicidal Behavior

    • Self harm and suicidal behavior can occur when a child experiences the death of a parent. Behaviors like pill ingestion and wrist cutting may be cries for help, or genuine flirtations with self destruction, depending on the child. Any sign of self harm or suicidal behavior should be met with a serious talk, as well as an appointment with a psychologist or counselor. Self harm is most common among teenagers.

    Drug/Alcohol Abuse

    • Drug and alcohol abuse may begin after a child experiences the death of a parent. This type of behavior is particularly troubling because it tends to be habit forming. If you notice that a child who has lost a parent has been experimenting with drugs, do not react with anger. Rather, ask the child to talk the problem through, and make an appointment with a professional if the problem persists.

    Truancy

    • Truancy and dropping out are problems that can occur when children experience the death of a parent. These problems may be brought on by depression, anxiety, or feelings of helplessness. A period of absence from school after the death of a parent is to be expected. However, if absence persists for an extended period of time, it may be necessary to seek intervention or help for the child. This kind of behavior can occur at any age.

    Acting Out

    • A small number of children will act out aggressively after experiencing the death of a parent. This is because the experience of a death can cause young children, who do not yet have a well developed concept of cause and effect, to blame the tragedy on other people, particularly authorities. If a bereaved child shows hostility toward a teacher or student, it is necessary that the child be taken to see the school guidance counselor. If the behavior does persists, the child may need to be given long term professional help.

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