How a Preteen Boy Acts When He Has a Crush
The childhood years go by very quickly. One minute your son is a tiny baby in your arms and the next he's coming home with a crush on a girl. Even if he doesn't come right out and tell you he's dreaming about a female classmate, you might be able to tell that something is going on by the changes in his behavior. Knowing what to expect can prepare you for the girl-crazy years to come.
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Social Media Usage
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Many preteen boys have cell phones or use instant messaging or email on the computer. If your son has a crush on a girl, you might notice that he spends a lot more time using his devices. This is normal in a technological world, but it also means you might not know what's being said. If you notice your son is increasingly glued to his phone or the computer, ask him who he's talking to and remind him that you may monitor his electronic conversations from time to time. Allow him time to talk to his crush, but encourage face-to-face interactions too.
Obsession
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For preteens, rejection and acceptance by peers and kids of the opposite sex is very important. Your child wants to be liked and wants to fit in. Obsession with a crush might occur if your son is worried that it isn't reciprocated. He might invade his crush's privacy by texting or calling her all the time. He might follow her around at school or avoid spending time with other friends in order to call his crush or hang out with her. A bit of crush obsession is normal, but if it takes over your son's life, help him set boundaries about how much time he spends with his crush and balance it with his other friends and activities.
Embarrassment
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Having a first crush involves an entirely new set of emotions for preteen boys. He probably feels really happy being around his crush, but doesn't fully understand what's going on. This might cause him embarrassment around her, and he might not want to talk about his crush with you or with friends. A crush isn't the same thing as romantic love, but these new feelings of liking a girl in a different way than his other friends can leave your son confused and unsure about how to act and what to say. If he prefers not to talk about his crush, don't force it. This will only make him avoid talking about it with you in the future.
Negative Emotions
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A lot of exciting feelings course through your preteen son when he has a crush on a girl. These emotions can quickly turn to shame and sadness if his crush doesn't like him in return. Finding out that a girl doesn't like him the same way he likes her can be a blow to your son's self-esteem, and it doesn't mean his crush evaporates, either. If you notice that your son is feeling blue or withdrawn, he may have a crush that isn't reciprocated. Talk to your son and remind him that he isn't a bad person just because a girl doesn't have special feelings for him. He'll have many crushes in his life, some that are returned and others that aren't. Helping him cope with rejection is important for his self-worth.
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