How to Parent a Middle-Schooler
Parenting a middle-schooler can seem like an uphill battle at times. You might feel as if the child you once knew is rapidly developing and becoming a new person. Your middle school-aged child is learning to become more independent and might seem to need you less than she did before, when, actually, she needs you now more than ever, says School Family. By staying active and involved in her life, you provide the nurturing and support she needs to grow into a more mature and healthy adolescent.
Instructions
Help your child manage study time, Scholastic.com advises. As your child makes the transition from elementary to middle school, he will inevitably face increasing academic pressure. Stay involved with his teachers and make periodic inquiries about his performance -- don't wait until report cards come out or until you get a letter sent home saying your child is falling behind. Build a healthy relationship based on trust and respect. Although your child might seem to reject your attempts to stay close, be persistent. Find time each day to connect with your child. Ask about her day, inquire about friends and show interest in her activities. According to Dr. Atilla Ceranoglu, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School in an article for GreatSchools, building a solid relationship with your child now helps prepare you for the rockier waters of adolescence. Recognize your child's need for independence, advises psychologist Laura Markham in an article for her website, Aha! Parenting.com. Let go of the reins occasionally and give your child the freedom and space he needs. For example, you might let him stay out 30 minutes later than his normal curfew on the weekend if he has a special event planned. Set realistic rules, such as the amount of television you'll allow each evening or the length of time he can spend on the phone after school. Discuss the consequences of breaking the rules in advance with your middle schooler so you are both on the same page. Markham advises empathizing with your child when he says he hates your rules, but to stay firm. Your child needs rules and limits to feel secure. Meet your child's friends. Middle school is the time when children start to experiment with different social groups and might be more susceptible to peer pressure. For example, according to a study published in the July 2013 issue of the "Journal of Adolescent Health," children are more likely to experience peer pressure to smoke while in middle school than when they are in high school. If you realize your child is involved with the wrong crowd, step in and set limits -- tell her that you don't want her hanging around that group. She might not like it, but it's your job to protect her and keep her safe.