How to Prepare Older Children for a New Sibling
You have an idea of what to expect from a newborn, but your older child lacks the ability to understand what kind of impact the change will have on his life. He may worry about sharing your love and attention with a new baby. He may feel left out with all the baby buzz and preparation. Preparing your older child for the newest addition to the family helps him better understand what to expect, while ensuring his needs are still met.
Things You'll Need
- Children's books
Instructions
Announce the pregnancy to your child before you tell too many other people. You want to tell your child about it yourself instead of letting him hear it from another person. Wait until you feel comfortable with the pregnancy, especially if the pregnancy is considered high-risk. Encourage your child to ask questions and talk about the new baby freely. Talk about what is happening with the baby at the time. Show your child about how big the baby is at different points in the pregnancy. Read books to your child that describe adding a baby to the family. Examples include "Julius, the Baby of the World" by Kevin Henkes, "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer, "The New Baby at Your House" by Joanna Cole and "Before You Were Born: The Inside Story" by Ann Douglas. Use these books as a discussion starter for your child's feelings about the new baby. Practice taking care of a baby using a doll. Show your child how to hold a newborn with support under the neck and head. Practice feeding, rocking and changing the baby. Introduce your child to an infant if you have a friend with a baby. Letting your child be around a baby allows him to see how the baby acts and sounds. Set up a play date with a child who is already an older sibling so your child sees the interaction. If the kids are old enough, they might even discuss what it's like to have a baby in the house. Involve your child in the baby prep. Let him help pick out decorations for the nursery or a special present for his new sibling. Ask him to help you pack a bag for the hospital. Let him suggest possible names for the baby, but don't promise to let him name his sibling. Take your child to a prenatal visit if possible, so he can hear the heartbeat. If you have another adult with you, consider taking your child to the ultrasound to see the baby. Enroll your child in a class designed for older siblings through the hospital. These classes help kids learn about newborns and prepare for the transition. Schedule a hospital tour so your child can see where you'll go to have the baby. Limit changes to your child's life as the birth gets close. If you plan any big changes, such as switching rooms, potty training or moving to a new house, do those things at the beginning of the pregnancy, so your child gets used to the new normal. Plan the care for your older child when you go into labor. Line up a primary caregiver and at least one backup. Talk to your child about the person who will provide the care while you are at the hospital. Assign your child specific jobs so he feels important and useful after the baby is born. Let him know he gets to bring you diapers when the baby needs to be changed, for example. Let him participate with the baby care as much as is appropriate for his age. Spend time with your older child before and after the birth of his new sibling. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests emphasizing how much you love your child and feel that he is special, along with spending solo time with him. Maintain your child's schedule as much as possible before and after the birth. This helps your child understand that even with the big changes coming, many things will stay the same.
