How to Help Children Self-Actualize

Understand the Hierarchy of Needs

• Self-actualization represents the highest level of needs: to make your life a meaningful one. But children and adults can't focus on that lofty goal unless they meet their lower needs first. Maslow developed a hierarchy of needs, and his theory was that people cannot achieve self-actualization until they meet the lower needs first: physiological, safety, belonging and love, and self-esteem. Self-actualization falls into the fifth and highest need, which encompasses growth that comes from fulfilling your potential.

Physiological and Safety Needs

• To help your child self-actualize, you must meet his physiological needs. Ensure your child gets adequate nourishment and sleep, and that he maintains a comfortable body temperature. Help him feel safe by offering a home that is not chaotic and that has consistent adult supervision. A neglected child, one who is left home alone or who grows up in a tense household, for example, is not likely to feel safe and will have difficulty moving forward in life.

Provide a Social Outlet

• Your child needs to feel part of a social group and develop friendships to meet the need to love and belong. Encourage your child to make friends with neighborhood children, and make friends yourself with other parents and arrange play dates. Other ideas include joining a church or temple, signing your child up with community organizations such as scouting groups, and enrolling your child in sports. It's important to teach your child social skills early in life so he'll fit in later when the inevitable school cliques form.

Help Your Child Develop Self-Esteem

• A child with high self-esteem can withstand social pressures that drag him down and can focus instead on what uplifts him, which is the goal of self-actualization. You can help your child develop high self-esteem by noticing when he accomplishes a task on his own and showing how proud you are. Provide many opportunities for your child, and let him make his own mistakes until he accomplishes the goal. Encourage your child without doing for him, and let him know you support and love him.

A Self-Actualized Person

• When your child is ready to work on self-actualization, teach him about the beauty of his surroundings and the preciousness of life, says Bonnie McCurtain an Oklahoma family counselor, writing for the Edmond Family Counseling website. You can also encourage your child to make decisions so that he can ultimately make his own choices regarding values or religion. Self-actualized children also practice self-control and can rise above petty problems to contemplate serious matters, such as injustice and suffering. Taking your child to volunteer at a homeless shelter or a pet rescue can help your child see beyond his own minor problems.