How to Deal With Insecure Children

Dealing with an insecure child requires you to pay closer attention the way you talk to and with the child, especially when the child is feeling uneasy, unsure or scared. Knowing how to detect periods of heightened insecurity, such as crying, sulking or withdrawing, will help you better handle the child and help strengthen the child's self-esteem.

Things You'll Need

  • Refrigerator magnets
  • Balloons
  • Cookies
  • Small rewards
  • Digital camera

Instructions

    • 1

      Curb criticism. Insecure children have a harder time dealing with criticism, which requires you to be more cautious with the words you choose when disciplining or correcting behavior. Make sure to use non-threatening words, speak in a soothing tone of voice and explain the situation to help the child understand what she did wrong or incorrectly.

    • 2

      Reward good behavior. You will give insecure children a self-esteem boost by celebrating and rewarding their good behavior. This can range from an extra cookie at dessert to a new video game, depending on the situation. This method can help illustrate to the child that they have reasons to be secure based on their words, actions and behaviors.

    • 3

      Talk about feelings. Find time to sit down, at least once per week if not more often, and talk directly to and with the child about feelings. Ask the child to explain how she feels when something goes wrong. Explain that everyone experiences defeat, periods of bad behavior and poor decision making. Use examples from your own life to let the child know that everyone has insecure feelings from time to time. Use this tactic to make the child feel normal.

    • 4

      Celebrate milestones and accomplishments. You can post good test papers on a refrigerator, hang artwork in the house or have special meals to celebrate accomplishments. Use positive reinforcement by showing happiness and excitement for things the child does correctly or better than expected; this will help her feel more secure. Take pictures of happy events and activities, write letters and cards to the child congratulating her on a job well done and give small gifts for larger accomplishments, when warranted.

    • 5

      Find tasks, hobbies and activities that the child excels at and that are suited for her skills and abilities. For example, if the child is good at running but less adept at hitting a ball, have her participate in track and field as opposed to being on a baseball team. This will help to make her more secure by working with, not against, innate strengths and abilities.

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