Pre-Adolescent Gender Development

Gender development does not refer to the physical development of sexual organs; it is the formation of sexual identity and gender-related character traits. The process starts early in life, with a boy baby becoming aware of his own genitals and a girl becoming aware of hers, at around 9 months old. Throughout childhood, boys and girls become more aware of their gender, notice the differences between the genders and generally assume typical gender behaviors. Pre-adolescents are particularly interested in pregnancy, birth and gender roles and are easily influenced by the media and their peers on sexual issues.

  1. Gender Roles

    • Typical gender roles are usually enforced from a young age.

      Preteens have a fairly rigid view of gender roles and tend to adopt the stereotypical behaviors of boys and girls. This is partly to attract the opposite sex, as dating and entering into romantic relationships becomes more of an attraction. The influence of older family members of the same sex also causes boys to adopt masculine behaviors and girls to lean toward feminine activities. When children grow up being shown males and females acting in a certain way, this becomes their learning model.

    External Pressure

    • Some preteens feel unsure about their gender identity.

      Preteens who don't feel comfortable assuming stereotypical gender roles often keep quiet about their distress, as they are not yet secure in their gender identity. Fortunately, modern society is far more supportive of gender confusion in youngsters than it was in the past. Girls taking part in competitive sports and boys learning to cook are not viewed as being anything out of the ordinary. As preteens progress toward adulthood and grow in confidence, they are better equipped to figure out their role within society. While most young people identify with the gender that is consistent with their biological sex, some identify with both genders or the gender that is not their biological sex.

    Inappropriate Behavior

    • Preteens often find inappropriate jokes funny.

      As children get closer to adolescence, they will pick up curse words and inappropriate jokes from the media, their peers and older relatives. Often, they will repeat them, without even knowing what they mean, to impress their peers. If you hear your pre-adolescent using bad language or telling dirty jokes, ask him where he heard it and what he thinks it means. Take the opportunity to explain why it is inappropriate.

    Physical Changes

    • Preteens' bodies change rapidly.

      As well as coming to terms with her sexuality and gender identity, your pre-adolescent will be noticing some physical changes. Some children are excited to see their bodies change, while others find it frightening and confusing. A parent of a pre-adolescent should be prepared to spend time reassuring her that she is normal and explaining what the changes mean.

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