How to Raise Kids in an Interfaith House

When you're in a serious relationship with someone whose faith differs from yours, you typically have some discussion regarding future children and your religions. While you can choose to raise your kids to follow one religion or the other, doing so isn̵7;t necessary. With care, you can raise your children to understand and celebrate the best of both religions.

Instructions

    • 1

      Create a plan with your partner. Ideally before you have a child -- or, if the ship has sailed, when your new addition is but a wee infant -- sit down together and discuss your plans for child rearing. In this plan, outline what facets of each religion the child will follow. For example, if your spouse is Catholic will he want your child to attend a Catholic school like he did? Also, decide which religious holidays your child will celebrate and how. It's possible that you might agree to celebrate some holidays important to each religion.

    • 2

      Write down your plans. As time passes, the plans that you prepared, still drunk on the euphoria that accompanies impending or new parenthood, may fade from memory. Avoid tiffs about your child-rearing practices by writing down a detailed account of the plan. Keep this written record in a safe place and refer to it as necessary.

    • 3

      Communicate your plan to the grandparents. Present a united front with your partner, making it clear to the grandparents that you carefully considered your plan. If at any point in time during the child-rearing process one or more of the grandparents tries to intervene inappropriately, convene another meeting -- without your child present -- to revisit and reinforce the plan.

    • 4

      Learn about each other̵7;s religions. You don̵7;t have to celebrate your partner̵7;s religion, but you do need to know enough about it to be able to field the questions that your interfaith kids may throw your way. Study up and become informed so you can demonstrate the appropriate support for your multi-religious children.

    • 5

      Develop a routine. Decide early on which religious services your children will attend. Stick with this routine as completely as possible to prevent hurt feelings or impressions of preferring one religion to the other. If you deviate from the schedule and begin to skimp on one service in favor of the other, it can cause tension between you and your partner -- and it might confuse your interfaith children.

    • 6

      Keep any religious conflicts hidden from your children. If you make your kids privy to these conflicts, you may inadvertently make them feel that they are culpable in your disagreement as it is their dual-religious status about which you are arguing. Commit to putting your children first and working things out as adults, outside of the earshot of your kids.

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