What Are the Causes of a Child Having the Inability to Show Remorse?

The ability to show remorse for your actions enables you to live as a normal, healthy, functioning member of society. Remorse means feeling regret after hurting another person or doing something wrong. Sometimes, children might feel bad on the inside, but don't want to admit that they've done something wrong. This is not the same as an inability to feel remorse. Children who truly have an inability to show remorse may be at risk for developing serious mental health and behavioral problems later in life.

  1. Parental Modeling

    • The ability to feel remorse is learned, in part, through parental modeling. To a large extent, children learn appropriate attitudes and behaviors by observing their parents' actions and behaviors. They notice the ways in which parents interact with and talk to others. If you show a lack of respect for the people in your life, your child may learn that it's okay to treat people disrespectfully. Similarly, if you demonstrate a lack of remorse or avoid apologizing when you do something wrong or hurtful, your child may learn that it's not necessary to feel bad when he hurts or wrongs others. According to child psychologist Annye Rothenberg in an article for Perfect Parenting Press, parents should apologize immediately after doing something wrong so that children learn to develop this behavior automatically.

    Genetics

    • Some research has shown that an inability to feel remorse may be genetic. A set of personality characteristics, known as "callous-unemotional" traits, which includes a lack of guilt and inability to feel remorse, has been shown in a number of twin studies to be influenced by heredity. For example, a study published in 2005 in the "Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry" examined pairs of twins taken from a sample of 7374 7-year-old twins. The results of this study found a strong genetic influence in children who exhibited high levels of callous-unemotional traits. The study also found that an early-onset of antisocial behaviors in children with callous-unemotional traits is largely inherited.

    Abuse/Neglect

    • Children who are abused or neglected may have a higher risk of developing an inability to feel and demonstrate remorse. When children are neglected, abused or treated harshly, they learn that they are powerless to affect change, feel that they have no influence over their environment and see their aggressors as having all the power. They may develop an inability to feel empathy, which is closely related to an inability to feel remorse, due to the effects of abuse on brain development. Abuse and neglect can have an impact on the development of areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, according to a publication by the Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, Children's Bureau.

    Developmental Delays / Mental Health Disorders

    • Some children who experience specific types of developmental delays, especially in the areas of social and emotional development, and certain mental health disorders like reactive attachment disorder, may be more likely to suffer from a lack of remorse. According to Children's Mental Health Services, reactive attachment disorder is characterized, in part, by aggression and an inability to display empathy and remorse. And a lack of remorse may be evident in some children who have oppositional-defiant disorder, a mental health disorder characterized by anger and rebellious behavior, says GoodTherapy.org. But the exact causes of these disorders aren't yet completely understood, although factors like abuse, neglect and poor bonding with parents are thought to have a significant impact.

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