What Causes Jealousy in Twins?

Like any siblings, twins can become competitive, especially for parents' attention. After all, they each want to have a unique relationship with their parents. They want to be recognized for their individual talents and characteristics. Because twins usually develop on a similar path, competition can occur over academics, sports, physical appearance and hobbies. Competition between siblings, especially twins, can result from being frequently compared to each other, according to an article at FamilyEducation.com. Comparison fuels competition and jealousy, but parents can help by remembering to treat and value each twin as a separate child.

  1. In the Classroom

    • While they might not always be in the same class, they are often learning the same skills. Classroom performance and grades can cause jealousy if one twin is more academically inclined than the other. If one child repetitively scores higher, the other child might become envious. The underachiever is typically jealous of the attention the other child receives more than the skill mastery itself. If parents and teachers are constantly praising the high-achiever, the other child's self-esteem could suffer. Twins share and compete for food, space and attention even before birth, so it's not surprising competition can carry over into their school years, according to an article at Scholastic.com.

    Athletic Competition

    • Athletic ability can be another source of contention between twins. If one child is stronger, more athletic or more skilled in a certain sport, the other child might become envious. If twins play an organized sport and are on the same team, jealousy can arise if one child gets more playing time, scores more goals or is better liked by teammates. However, the sibling rivalry prompted by sports can actually be positive, according to a Sport Psychology Today article: "It pushes them to become better athletes and teaches them how to handle conflict, cooperate and manage frustration and aggression." Parents can focus on the effort of each child and teach their twins how to deal with jealousy in an appropriate manner.

    Physical Beauty

    • Jealousy can affect both identical and fraternal twins. Identical twins develop from one zygote that splits into two embryos. Fraternal twins develop from two eggs that are fertilized by separate sperm cells. Identical twins look so similar that people often expect them to be similar as people. This expectation can spark jealousy as the twins realize they are not in fact the same and don't necessarily like or excel at the same things. Fraternal twins might become jealous for a different reason. They were born at roughly the same time yet do not look similar. One might long for the appearance of the other, who is perhaps physically stronger, more conventionally handsome or simply attracts more friends.

    Hobbies

    • Children develop their own hobbies as they age. Twins are often exposed to many of the same activities but are not always attracted to the same interests. Parents can send their twins to classes, camps and after-school programs, but one might excel at or enjoy an activity more than her sister. If one child becomes especially skilled in a certain area such as art, drama or music, the other twin might become jealous. The jealousy is exacerbated by parental attention and praise. Try to help your twins each find something they enjoy that helps build their self-confidence as individuals.

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