Fear of Abandonment in Childhood Development

Fear of abandonment often begins when the child is in kindergarten -- it is the beginning stage of the fear of loss, according to an article at Scholastic.com. This fear evolves from separation anxiety, which children feel as babies. If a child loses a family member or close friend at the age of kindergarten or older, he will feel it deeply. Parents and counselors can help the child through this period.

  1. Effects of Abandonment in Early Childhood

    • Being permanently separated from a caregiver can be traumatic for a child, especially in the early years of development. It is seen as a form of post traumatic stress disorder, and can have similar effects on the child, according to psychologist Nadine Winocur, writing at Drnadinewinocur.com. Fear of abandonment takes root when a child loses someone close to him at an early age, before they can fully understand the circumstances of the the loss.

    Long-Lasting Consequences

    • Children who have experienced the loss of a caregiver can experience an emotional effect that lasts throughout their lives. They might feel as though the person's disappearance is somehow their fault, according to Winocur. This can lead to misplaced blame and feelings of guilt. These children might also fear getting close to others, operating under the assumption that it will happen again, according to Winocur.

    Lessons in Loss

    • If the loss is that of a parent, a therapist is recommended to help with the coping process. In circumstances where the person is a friend or close family member, such as a grandmother, parents can help their child to understand that losing a person in one's life is a part of having relationships, according to the Scholastic.com article. During this time, the child is working to understand how change can affect her life. The parents and child can discuss the passage of time and how new opportunities can arise when life evolves in a different way according to Scholastic.com.

    Getting It Together

    • Children need their parents or caregivers to help them cope with fear of abandonment. If the child mentions fears of loss or anxiety about losing people in their lives, parents need to listen and understand, according to KidsHealth. Simply discussing the fear with parents can put a child's mind at ease. Parents can teach their child relaxation techniques for when the fearful thoughts creep in. The child can repeat positive statements to themselves, "... such as 'I can do this' and 'I will be OK'", and practice deep breathing for when they start to worrying about losing a friend or family member.

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