How to Show a Child Unconditional Love

Children need unconditional love from their parents to grow up feeling that they are safe and secure in their family and in the world. Showing unconditional love teaches children that everything will be okay in the long run. Unconditional love means "no strings attached" -- your love is not dependent on your child's behavior or achievements, you simply love him for who he is. But showing your child unconditional love might not always be easy -- every parent reaches the end of their rope at times.

Instructions

    • 1

      Avoid equating your child's actions or behaviors with who he is as a person. Although your child can occasionally try your patience and act in disappointing ways, don't allow your feelings of disappointment to overwhelm you or cause you to act in ways you might later regret. At the time, you may not like or approve of the way your child behaves, but you should never send the signal that your love is contingent on the way he acts.

    • 2

      Use "I" phrases when disciplining your child or discussing negative feelings. Blaming your child will only send the message that you feel your child is bad or unacceptable as he is. Instead, explain to your child how his actions made you feel -- this prevents you from attacking his character or self-esteem, says Love Our Children USA, a non-profit prevention organization devoted to fighting neglect and violence against children.

    • 3

      Allow your child to express her feelings without judgment or criticism. Showing unconditional love means that you accept your child's positive and negative feelings and you realize that some of these feelings may occasionally be directed at you. According to psychologist Laura Markham in an article for her website, Aha! Parenting, expressing the full range of emotions is normal and part of being human. If you become angry or upset when your child expresses a negative emotion, she may feel that you disapprove of her, which might cause her to repress her emotions in the future.

    • 4

      Tell your child that you love him on a daily basis. Show physical affection by providing frequent hugs or cuddles. In an article for the Betty Hardwick Center, a community mental health center in Albilene, Texas, authors Angela Oswalt, MSW, Natalie Staats Reiss, Ph.D and Mark Dombeck, Ph.D. point out that expressing your love in verbal and physical ways sends your child the message that he is loved, safe and in a secure relationship.

    • 5

      Provide your child with your undivided attention whenever you talk or spend quality time together. Your child will know when your mind is focused elsewhere. Undivided attention sends the message to your child that she is important and that you like being with her, say counselor Gary Chapman and psychiatrist Ross Campbell in their book, "The Five Love Languages of Children."

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