How to Build Confidence in a Child

Bolster his Confidence

• 1

  Identify your child's strengths and encourage him to pursue activities that build on these strengths. If, for example, he's strong but he struggles in academics, say something like, "The strength you showed today during the game is inside you all the time. You can use this same strength to get through your math problems."

• 2

  Give your child your undivided attention at least once a day. While you are playing with your child, convey your enthusiasm for spending time with him in an open and honest fashion, suggests Ask Dr. Sears. Over time, these interactions will build his confidence, as he perceives he is accomplishing something positive.

• 3

  Cheer him on to keep him trying. Be his coach, mentor and cheerleader along the way, conveying realistic expectations, based on his strengths, age and current level of skill. Even if he'll never be a professional basketball player, for example, you can encourage him to try his hardest in every game, follow the rules and enjoy time spent with his teammates.

Let Him Try

• 4

  Let your child choose what games to play, to convey a message to him that his suggestions are valuable. Letting him control the play holds his attention longer and stimulates him to learn more, according to Ask Dr. Sears.

• 5

  Give your child responsibilities to complete around the home. KidsHealth.org notes that children build confidence based on their accomplishments over time. For example, children around age 7 can start cooking at least one meal per week with adult supervision.

• 6

  Let him make his own mistakes. Teach your child the essential skills to accomplish a task, but then step back and let him try on his own, even if that means he won't be successful on his first attempt. Giving him room to try new activities conveys your confidence in your child, which builds his confidence, according to KidsHealth.org.

Protect Your Child

• 7

  Soften blows to a child's self-confidence by helping him reframe setbacks or perceived insults. If he tells you his teacher yelled at him for breaking something, for example, reframe the situation by emphasizing that it was nice of him to try to help, everyone breaks something sometimes -- and offer that maybe she was just having a bad day.

• 8

  Encourage your child's friendships with peers and adults who bolster his confidence, while at the same time discouraging and limiting his contact with those who tend to damage his confidence. If his coach is negative, for example, have him join another team. If he has positive and negative friendships, offer to take your child and his positive friends to special outings.

• 9

  Listen and validate your child's feelings. Teach him that everyone feels discouraged at some time when attempting a new task and help him problem solve to get over hurdles. The website Parents suggests that as your children mature, parents should encourage them to do most of the problem-solving themselves, while they offer guidance and support.

• 10

  Remind your child that he's a winner. Cite examples of how he's succeeded in the past, achieving goals he never felt were possible. The website Parents suggests it's easy for a discouraged child to lose perspective and that a supportive parent can build their child's confidence by drawing from examples in his past.