How to Build a Young Child's Social Skills

As early as toddlerhood, a child becomes fascinated with his same-age peers, actively engaging herself in social interactions. Through such interactions, she quickly learns certain skills about how to get along with others and how to get what she wants from others, sometimes by any means necessary. Left to herself, she will develop a social strategy that might not fit with her parents̵7; values. Thus, it is often up to the parents to impart good, prosocial behavior to their children.

Instructions

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      Observe how your child interacts with her peers. Find her strengths and weaknesses. Most children naturally learn social skills through positive and negative reinforcement -- often through their peers, teachers and parents -- and use that to your advantage.

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      Praise your child when she engages in prosocial, positive behavior. Reinforce her good social behaviors through physical praise as well, such as by hugging her or patting her on the back. Occasionally reward her with small gifts, but don̵7;t turn gift giving into an expectation; use it to show your gratitude toward her prosocial actions.

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      Set boundaries on negative social behavior. Discuss the negative social behaviors present in your child. Sit your child down and explain why these behaviors are harmful. Explain that they are off limits and warn her of the consequences of repeating them. For example, if your child responds to teasing by hitting her peers, take her aside and tell her how violence only makes people angrier and doesn̵7;t solve problems. Set a consequence on the action, telling her that the next time she hits, she cannot have her friends over for a week. Ask her to repeat the rule so that you know she̵7;s internalized it.

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      Be a social role model. Teach your good child social skills by demonstrating good ones yourself. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, children have trouble learning many of the more advanced prosocial behaviors, those that don̵7;t come naturally to young children, such as sharing, without good role models. Turn your moral lessons into demonstrations. For example, show your child the importance of sharing at the dinner table by exclaiming, ̶0;Tofu is my favorite food, but I̵7;m going to give some of mine to daddy to show him I care about him.̶1; Remember that the power of a role model can backfire; if you have bad habits, your young, impressionable child is likely to pick some of them up.

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